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pet·ri·fied
ˈpetrəˌfīd/
adjective
adjective: petrified
1.
so frightened that one is unable to move; terrified.
"the petrified child clung to her mother"
2.
(of organic matter) changed into a stony substance; ossified.
"petrified wood"
Person1: Hey man!
Person2: Look what I found!
Person1: What is it?
Person2: I found some petrified wood!
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A Gargoyle can petrifies in the day.
Let's get some petrified wood
Man, that's one petrified boner!
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So terrified that one can't move.
John was petrified after the rollercoaster ride.
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Naked and Petrified is an Internet-based troll meme, nowadays usually associated with Natalie Portman. It (apparently) first started out via comments on the SegFault website, and was used regarding Mae Ling Mak, a Linux magazine columnist. Its origins may lie in the Rocky Horror Show, where the heroes were turned into naked statues.
After comments were disabled on SegFault, N+P moved over to Slashdot where it mated with some Natalie Portman related trolls and appeared in its present form.
It is also closely associated with hot grits a la "Natalie Portman, naked and petrified and covered in hot grits". Articles written in late 2000 accuse the Portmanified meme of being played out, but it was still a favourite almost five years later. Even in 2007 it still pops up now and then.
"Natalie Portman, naked and petrified and covered in hot grits"
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When one lies on top of another pinning then down, urinates allover them, and yells "PETRIFIED PENGUIN!!"
Jake: "Hey look! Arielle is giving Alex a petrified penguin!"
A Raisin
Guy 1: Is that a petrified grape?
Guy 2: No, it's raisin.
Guy 1: Wait, isn't that the same thing. Guy 2: No.
When, during intercourse, the penis becomes numb due to under stimulation. The male equivalent of Zombie Beaver. Useful for Cock-Slapping, Cock-stands, Tripod-ing, etc.
Janet was so begrudgingly wide that I got the good 'ol Petrified Tree. After that, I charmingly berated her, and cock-slapped her with my rock-solid Mahogany Staff.
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