chain of prevents

A chain of events that prevents you from accomplishing anything important.

Billy: "Did you do the paper for history last night?"

Edwards: "Well, I started it but then Jimmy showed up with a twelve and showed me some videos online and... long story short, I didn't get it done because of the unexpected chain of prevents."

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Pregnancy preventer

Nick Jonas: You know when you’re going to school and you’re carrying you backpack and your back starts to hurt? Just flip it around. I should invent that
Kevin Jonas: THE PREGNANCY PREVENTER.

Nick Jonas: You know when you’re going to school and you’re carrying you backpack and your back starts to hurt? Just flip it around. I should invent that
Kevin Jonas: THE PREGNANCY PREVENTER.

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Ascension Prevention

To leave behind friends/teammates in their moment of need in order to save yourself

"Help we're being overrun by zombies!"

"No use, Dan just Ascension Prevention'd"

Preventive Drinking

Drinking with the intent of having a hangover that will enable one to drink the entire following day and evening with relative sobriety / ease. Cf. preventive maintenance.

Ted's Bachelor Party is on Saturday starting at noon. I guess we better do some "Preventive Drinking" Friday night to ensure we're not passed out before the strippers get there.

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aftersplash prevention

creating a structure made of toilet paper to avoid the aftersplash sensation. The toilet paper is placed under the dump approximately 1-3 seconds before landing for maximum results.

Levit, who's smarter than Diem, studies aftersplash prevention and has developed a structure which helps to avoid aftersplash time and time again.

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pussy preventer

That one friend who thinks he's a wing-man , but he's just a side-bro.

Pussy Preventer : "He has such a funny group of friends , once he even pissed himself laughing"

Girl : "Oh you hear that I think my moms calling"

You : "FUCKING PUSSY PREVENTER FUCK OFF"

Preventive war

A war in which the attacked country poses no direct or imminent threat to the attacker. To be differentiated from preemptive war, in which the attacker is in clear danger of being attacked.

The US is an old hand at staging preventive wars. Through clever use of propaganda to infuse nationalism and support for its wars among the population it is able to attack and invade sovereign countries under the guise of "liberation" or "preemptive attack".

See also War with Iraq.

I'll go and punch a blind person in a wheelchair on the street and call it a preventive attack. He was clearly going for my wallet!

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