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To beat the shit out of someone so hard that their limbs bend in weird angles
OH MY FUCKING GOD, JUST LET ME STRADDLE HIM RIGHT NOW
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The act of making out while the man is sitting, and the woman is straddling his legs. A combinations of the terms Straddle(n.) and Racking(v.) Often performed on a couch or the back seat of a car.
Guy1: "Dude did you and Emma get together last night?"
Guy2: "Oh ya dude, we were straddle racking in the back seat of my car for half an hour!"
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Tactically straddling someone is a high-speed low-drag maneuver. Commonly used in Police and Military applications. Forcefully and tactfully squatting spread eagle over someones torso or face take control of the suspect. A Tactical Straddle can be executed with the suspect in the prone or supine position by placing both legs around them, as you would when riding a horse. Tacticalness is increased if wearing all black.
"I had to execute a tactical straddle to get control of a suspect last night. Once I had his torso straddled, I was able to overcome his resistance and take full control."
JB "Hey D, heard you had to manhandle that guy in the cell last night, how did you get control of him?"
D "It was easy, I just executed a Tactical Straddle to get him into submission."
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A man that has qualities that merit straddling.
Usually used by women to reference a man that is particularly appealing to them.
I totally coined this forever ago.. just sayin'.
Girl 1: I'm watching a 'Kyle XY' marathon.
Girl 2: Oh! Isn't Matt Dallas extremely straddle worthy?
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Arrangement where two people shit into a toilet simultaneously. One person sits on the toilet with their legs spread apart. The second person straddles over the first person, positioning their ass over the hole created by the first person's legs.
Artie and Ron both had to shit quickly but only one toilet was available. Artie then suggested they straddle shit so that neither shits his names.
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When your on a first date and the bitch your with decides to crank it up a notch, jumps on top of you, wraps her legs around your waist, visciously inserts her tongue into the back of your esophagus, all while dry humping the hell out of your dong.
"Ah man, last night me and Shannon were watchin this movie and then out of no where she jumped on top of me and began Straddle Blasting the fuck outta me!"
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To be on both sides, flip flop
"Taylor, before the camreas and media came, Laura was on my side, but when the going got tough, she got to running..."
Oh, she's straddling the fence huh?
"Yes, she LOVES to straddle the fence."
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