Stretch Armstrong

Remember how Stretch Armstrong worked? Getting a Stretch Armstrong is when your lame ass gets totally crucified by your sister in Fantasy Football so bad that it feels like she pulled your arms out of the socket until the icky goo inside you oozed out.

Wow! Adam's sister really gave him a Stretch Armstrong this week...117 to 49! What a pickle smoocher!

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Pop a Stretch Armstrong

1. Your cock returns to its original shape after being stretched or twisted in a particularly nasty fashion.

2. You pull too hard and your dick rips apart.

1.

Person 1: Okay, honey, you can open your eyes now.
Person 2: Jesus, love, what've you done to it?!
Person 1: Relax. Pop a Stretch Armstrong; you'll be fine.

2.

Person 1: Where's Gin?
Person 2: Emergency room.
Person 1: WTF?
Person 2: Yeah, he popped a Stretch Armstrong.
Person 1: Jesus.
Person 2: Yeah.

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