Takes the retard cake

When somebody does something so idiotic, in the greatest of ways, what was done was so stupid, there is no comparison in known history, to say someone else did something more idiotic.

Doctor: "I've seen a lot of guys hurt themselves in stupid ways in my day, but yours takes the retard cake!"

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taking cakes

Violent or aggressive intercourse, esp. when in reference to doggy style. Origin is unknown, but its use is most commonly found in Merced, CA.

The term can also describe a random, often-stealthy attack on a freshman football player at his locker perpetrated by one or more members of the Varsity team. The cause of the assault varies; the most common motives are unprovoked malice and the need to silence a freshman who had previously been talking smack. The cakes in question are often taken on the locker room floor, but can also be taken on a bench, in the showers, standing up, against a wall, against the lockers, etc. This form of cake takeage involves no actual penetration; the victim is merely dry-humped for a short amount of time, usually a few seconds.

Varsity player sails over bank of lockers, landing on a freshman player. The Varsity player proceeds to hump the freshman, effectively taking cakes.

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Take My Cake

They want you to stick it in their booty.

"Brad, literally just take my cake already."