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CEO --> C.ash E.quals O.rgasm. The CEO of the corporation likes money. Likey likey money. Makey lotta money.
The CEO hired an 'efficiency expert' who determined that me and my 99 closest coworkers should be outsourced to save the company some money each year. I think he is more motivated by money than responsibility to his employees welfare.
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Admit it. We all feel a touch of awe when someone has it: the CEO title. The power, the salary, and the chance to Be The Boss. It’s worthy of awe!
Too bad so few CEOs are good at what they do. In fact, only 1 in 20 are in the top 5%1. Many don’t know what their job should be, and few of those can pull it off well. The job is simple—very simple. But it’s not easy at all. What is a CEO's job?
More than with any other job, the responsibilities of a CEO diverge from the duties and the measurement.
A CEO’s responsibilities: everything, especially in a startup. The CEO is responsible for the success or failure of the company. Operations, marketing, strategy, financing, creation of company culture, human resources, hiring, firing, compliance with safety regulations, sales, PR, etc.—it all falls on the CEO’s shoulders..
The CEO’s duties are what she actually does, the responsibilies she doesn’t delegate. Some things can’t be delegated. Creating culture, building the senior management team, financing road shows, and, indeed, the delegation itself can be done only by the CEO.
Many start-up CEOs think fund-raising is their most important duty. I disagree. Fund-raising is necessary, but the CEOs contribution is in building a superb business with the money raised.
Kelly~gean: Life In Motion Co. CEO sounds good to me. Think I'll make it? I'm worried about the copy write infringement of the name. I could always change it To Life in Ocean Motion:)!
It's like being right in Skynards "Hell House," to success.
Mom: You can do anything you set you mind to and stubborn enough to make it happen. It's not what people fight for it's what they live for.
Kelly~gean: ILU woman!
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Coverup Everything Officer
CEO : this is the Coverup Everything Officer speaking. Please bury the investigation report. The Freedom of Information request is refused.
FOI officer : the freedom of information request is refused. It will take us so many hours to stick paper in a photocopier and black out some words. It doesn't matter that you offered to pay for our time to take an already collated investigation file and copy it. It is a big job to photocopy shit we don't want you to see.
HR : not a problem.
Lawyer: no problem. We will continue to refuse access to the investigation report. After all access has been refused for a year and a half now.
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Son: I've been promoted as the CEO of the company!
Mom: Wow, CEO! What do you need to do every day?
Son: Oh, just fuck around and check emails. After all, i'm the Check Email Officer.
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A company's oldest, whitest, male employee
Jacob Jones was promoted to CEO because he was white.
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Christians who attend church on "C"hristmas and "E"aster "O"nly. Also known as C&Es.
My parents wanted us to go to church more regularly, but we were CEOs and twice a year was often enough for me.
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