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Random
After you take a duece in the crapper, someone ELSE comes to wipe your ass.
You've got a nasty case of the 'rice water' shits...."Send in the ass valet...PRONTO"
15👍 2👎
Whenever a hooker has a string of anal beads ripped violently from her ass, she may poop a bit.
John wanted to prove he was an animal in their first encounter, so he bit the string and yanked on Anna's ass beads like he was cranking a John Deere. He came up with gobs of shit on his face...Anna was guilty of tipping the valet.
20👍 8👎
a friend wants to tap that ass, you drop them off at the person's house. you're transporting what they need to them. dick valet.
After the bar last night, I asked my dick valet to drop me off at Joe's house.
5👍 1👎
When a restaurant with plenty of parking puts orange cones in all the parking spots and forces you to use their valet services. The customer has to wait an hour in the cold, rain, or heat for the valet to get their car which is parked less than 5 feet away from the door in an otherwise empty lot. The car is returned with the seat, radio and air settings all screwed up. The customer has the privilege for paying and/or tipping for this "service".
Usually offered by pretentious restaurants with large parking lots who care more about their image than the convenience of their customers.
You: Let's go to that new restaurant that just opened up!
Her: No- they have forced valet. Screw them!
7👍 2👎
A friend of the girl you are boning who's job it is to take care of your balls.
Usually less attractive than the girl you're fucking, but can still perform a vital function - like letting old people greet at walmart
Girl 1: "I'd love to go to your place, but I need to drop my friend home"
Guy: "No probs, she can join us and be my nut valet"
Girl 2: "It's better than nothing, let's go"
Guy 1: "My gals less attractive friend is staying over tonight"
Guy 2: "Nut valet?"
Guy 1: "Nut valet!"
4👍 1👎
When you take a 2006 Dodge RAM 2500 6-speed to a fancy hotel or restaurant and have a valet park it. You then walk away from the truck and then hear a hideous grinding sound and see a couple of gears or bolts fall from the transmisson.
Keith performed the proper valet on Pete's truck. The truck has never been the same and Andy is very pissed off
5👍 2👎
When you create a parking space where one doesn't exist; usually with hazard flashers. Most often in the fire lane in front of the door at a store, but could also be at the end of an existing row of parking spaces.
I can't get out of the parking lot; someone did Armenian Valet and I can't get around them to the exit.