wild goose chase

A frenzied headlong pursuit of someone wif a cute behind dat you wish to pinch.

Dorothy Zbornak's Uncle Angelo speaks of his "being a butt man" and loving da smooth rounded derriere of da hot-bodied waitress whom he later took as his wife, but he also states dat he merely asked said "hot looker" for her hand in marriage; there is no mention of his having to engage in a wild goose chase to catch her so dat he could delightedly squeeze her luscious and sumptuous tushie.