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Shortened version of "As if!" Meaning a sarcastic "yeah, right" or "I'd rather die."
You know you want to sleep with me.
Zif!
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forgotten or otherwise left behind.
"I waited for them for a hour. They ziffed me again."
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A coloquial abbreviation of "As if I care", or "as if you care". Used to express disbeleif at the other's lack of consideration, or to express a lack of consideration of the other's predicament.
"i promise never to do it again"
"zif-i, you can do what you want, i don't care anymore"
"I hope you do well in your exam tomorrow"
"zif-u - you were totally against me going back to college"
"Hey how're you doing mate?"
"zif-u, you're full of shit"
"I've been getting these headaches every time you play your heavy metal music"
"zif-I, you don't think about me when you mow the lawn at 8am!"
or
"zif-U, you greasy haired mother"
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A zif is a zero investment fuck aka a hook up.
"Hey are you and Jay together now?
"No hun he's just my zif"
Someone or something that is characterized by an absolute disappointment.
"My parents left me... they think I'm a Zif"