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The voce module that comes with 200 and XP to help blind users use the computer. also very funny to make say things..
Funny things to make microsoft sam say:
1. piss! Piss out the ass!
2. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
3. fuck shit piss cunt tits cocksucker motherfucker twat
4. just mash the keyboard and ask Sam to pronounce what results.
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Still kinda an awful browser even if it now shares the same DNA as chrome. Literally the first page that opens is a jumbled up mess of text and clickbaity news articles that I couldn't give zero fucks about. And the way it manages tabs is not my cup of tea.
It does eat a lot less RAM tho, so I'll give it that.
Person 1: Wtf, Windows just told me to switch to Microsoft Edge
Person 2: ewwwwwww
Person 1: Hey, at least now I have more free RAM
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A unit of time ranging in value from one realtime minute to several hours.
"Time to complete installation of Windows XP 37 minutes."
(24 minutes later)
"Time to complete installation of Windows XP 36 minutes. Did you know that Windows XP will speed up all your everyday computing tasks!"
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A screen during any installation in Windows showing "1 second remaining" that lasts a few minutes.
"I don't have time to talk to you, I'm almost done installing the game - it says I only have one second remaining."
"Dude, you have plenty of time, it's a Microsoft second."
Someone who is too stubborn or just in denial about the inadequacy in quality and effectiveness of Microsoft products compared to Apple products.
Symptoms are constantly defending and making excuses for the sub par product pumped out by Microsoft.
The person, has seen by outsiders, looks to be waging a hopeless war against impossible odds.
People have compared it to the Battle of the Alamo or Leningrad. One observer compared it to Star Wars; the Rebels v. the Empire. Except in this case the Empire won.
It can be painful to watch someone go down this dark road.
Just picture Rocky I but at the end rocky dies. And Loses. And Apollo bones Adrian.
Microsoft Apologist: "For your information, sir, We can use Windows XP for the remainder of this century. Further more, you think your computer is so cool. Can it get Viruses? I didn't think so!"
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A metaphorical variation on the Cleveland Steamer. It occurs when someone expects something to work, only to see it fail at a critical moment, leaving them feeling like someone has just shit on their face.
Person A: "I'd stay way from Michael right now. He installed Windows 7 last week, and just got a Microsoft steamer when he tried to print out his term paper."
Person B: "Idiot. What did he expect?"
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A decent OS with the most versatility of all OSes. Seriously. This thing can run just about any program and/or application.
Let's go on to debunking common misconceptions about Windows...
1. "Windows crashes like every 5 seconds!!1!1OMG another blue screen!"
While Windows does crash, the amount of times it does and how often is usually dependent on many other factors, those factors involving how much people actually take care of their computers.
Since most people don't know how to simple things like defragment their hard drives every once in awhile, and not open every e-mail attachment they get, it's no wonder people have their computers crash all the time.
Out of the approximate 8 years that I've been using a computer running Windows, I have only gotten the BSoD twice. Twice. And they were both due to me running too many applications over night, anyway. Thank God it did too. I probably would've fried my HDD from the constant strain I was stupidly putting on the CPU.
Take care of your computer, and you don't get crashes. Simple as that.
2 "I'm always getting viruses!!11! Windows always gets viruses!11!! You need to have antivirus stuff!!!!1111!1one1"
Two things:
Common sense (don't download and open every .exe application you see, you dolt. One of the many things people do.)
Windows has a majority of the market share, making it a prime target for malware writers.
Done.
3. "Windows security is a joke! So it's so easy to hack!!11!"
Only here will I give you compensation. Yes, Windows security is pretty bad.
But guess what? An IT tech friend of mine said that a Macintosh would take about a few minutes to hack into, and Linux would take about the same amount of time.
I bet no one ever considered the security of alternate operating systems besides Windows, because they're all pretty bad by themselves.
He even showed me how. And this friend is certified in computer security, so he would know. Stop listening to all that propaganda, people.
I'd love to do more, but I'd spend hours trying to pin point everything.
Microsoft Windows: use it right, and it won't fail you. I'm perfectly fine with the XP OS I've been running for quite some time. It has slowed down a bit from age, but I have never even defragged the hard drive due to memory constraints.
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