I'd rather have cake

This is sometimes used among the asexual community expressing that some on the ace spectrum would rather have cake over sex. Choosing to have both have cake and eat it too.

Random person: want to do it
The asexual: nah I'd rather have cake.

I'd Like to solve the puzzle

A famous line from the hit show Wheel of Fortune and South Park.

Randy: I'd like to solve the puzzle

Pat Sajak: Go ahead Mr. Marsh

Randy: NIGGERS

45👍 4👎

I'd suck her dick

A dysphemism for infatuation, specifically a man's for a woman. Used to express such extreme infatuation that the man would go to any length to please the woman in an attempt to enter into a relationship with her. Discovering "her" to actually be a transvestite or transgendered male and the heterosexual male then proceeding to perform oral sex on the "woman" is the quintessential example of extreme infatuation. This implies that any lesser requirement for a relationship is well within the man's willingness to provide.

boB: "Jacey is so hot, I'd suck her dick!"
Paul: "Yes, she has many fine qualities, but that's certainly beyond the pale."
boB: "Yeah, well, we'll see who taps that ass first."
Paul: "Ironically, that may be 'her' primary sexual orifice. Let's hope you can achieve copulatory success without resorting to such lengths."
boB: "Wa?"

64👍 9👎

I'd put it in her butt.

A broad compliment to a pretty girl. Usually in the case where you would like to sleep with her, but she isn't worth getting pregnant and having to stick around with for 18 years

You: Hey man, look at the hottie over there.
Me: Damn, yeah "I'd put it in her butt."

23👍 2👎

i'd throw it in the two hole

An expression used to indicate that one finds a female reasonably attractive. Literally means that given the chance, you would like to engage in anal intercourse with her.

Britney: "Dad, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Kevin."
Dad: "Nice to meet you, Kevin. Now I want you to take good care of my daughter. She's a beautiful young lady and you should treat her with the respect she deserves."
Kevin: "You got that right, Pops. I'd throw it in the two hole. Can't wait to chuck my junk in that."
Dad: "Excuse me?"
Kevin: "Hey old man, you got a shitter around here? I got fuckin' plastered last night at the strip club and I've got some wicked beer shits."

81👍 13👎

I'd put a wig on her

To declare that you would gladly participate in sexual relations with a woman.
To say that you find a woman attractive.

Hey have you seen that girl dancing over there?
Yeah man, I'd put a wig on her.
I'd put a wig on her all night long.

16👍 1👎

I'd give her one

Slang for inferring you want to shag a woman.

Look at that stunner! I'd give her one!

Or if you want to be clever:

That woman is beautiful.
Marks out of ten, I'd give her one.

16👍 1👎