Slug Smuggling

When a lady gets aroused and leaves slimy trails in her undergarments almost as if she has hidden slugs in them to prevent detection from customs.

“Oh Charles, the sight of you in your fancy king hat had me dripping like a broken refrigerator. I must away and change my Knick-knacks, as they are as if I have been slug smuggling.”

(Queen Camilla after the Coronation of King Charles III.)

muffin smuggling

When you sneak a woman onto an airplane in your carry-on or checked luggage for the express purpose of engaging in consensual in-flight sex through a hole previously created in the side of said luggage.

Flight attendant: “Excuse me, sir, but please remove your penis from that luggage. I’m worried you’ll get sperm on your travel items.”
Frequent flyer with his penis in a piece of luggage: “Thank you for your concern, but there are no travel items in here, only my wife. We’re muffin smuggling as a means of keeping our marriage strong.”
Flight attendant: “I see. It’s important to do things as a couple. Can I get you a ginger ale?”
Frequent flyer: “Yes. Can I have also have an extra pack of cookies?”
Flight attendant: “No.”
Wife, from within the luggage: “I love when we muffin smuggle.”
Frequent flyer, his penis still in a piece of luggage: “Me too, dear.”
Pilot: “We’ll be landing in 15 minutes.”
Flight attendant: “Sir, I’m going to need you to exit the overhead compartment and return to your seat.”