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small, annoying twat who thinks hes clever by balancing an ugly burberry cap on the back of his head at a 180 degree angle! thinking about it, he probably stuck it there with the chewing gum he'd bin chewing for the past 3 days because he coodnt afford nemore! hed spent all his money on fags and blingin' jewerly, wich he either jacked or got for 2.50 of the back of a lorry. His inability to dress himself is shown through the way his tracksuits, that already look stupid clingin halfway up his ankles, are tucked into his 'heavy' sports socks, followed by either dirty white trainers or ones that are so dsazzlingly white you need to squint! They are usually found with girls 3ft taller than them and that are 5 yrs older than them! The girls are usually found wearing extremely tight clothe with a coat 3 sizes too small with a fluffy hood that sticks out. They always wear knee high boots, with anything, even with their errr... would you call it a skirt?!?! more like a BELT! and then theres the pink or light blue trackies! they look RIDICULOUS!!!!!!! Their died blonde hair is a reason to wear sunglasses, although, towards the top of thehead you can see the nice dark roots, with more grease than mcdonalds, which isnt reely suprising since that is their territory and probably their homes! The 15 yr old n her 10 yr old boyfriend probably conceived their 1st 3 kids in the toiulets there! (Think about that the next time you go in!) Oh and one more thing, if a lil chav that barley comes to your knees tries to pick a fight with you, be afraid! They bite! and in that area it could hurt, especially for a guy! So watch out! They're errrr... tougher than they look?!?!? HA! My arse! say a word longer than 2 sylables and theyll go running!
'what do you call a 13 yr old chav?'
'PREGNANT!'
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1. The term C.h.a.v may be an abbreviation of the phrase 'Council House And Violent' due to the original concept that 'Chavs' came from poorer run down areas with a notorious rate of crime and violence.
2. Chav now generally has a broader meaning as many wealthier people who didn't leave in council accomedation chose to join the Chav culture. For example, wealthy folks from Essex.
3. In many places, Chavs however are considered an underclass of people that good and decent people try to avoid when crossing the street or resent having to deal with in the first place.
4. Another reason society has a strong dislike of Chavs, is the fact that many white Chavs are notoriously racist against people of Asian or African extraction; despite the fact that many of these same white Chavs idolise African American rap or hip hop artists such 50 Cent or Snoop Doggy Dogg. For this reason some people describe "Chavs" as "white trash". Of course it is also worth pointing out that Chavs do not necessarily have to be white. Chavs also have a fondness for Spanish properties.
A vaguer description of a Chav could also be...
5. Someone who has an obscene amount of jewellary on.
6. Someone who has a fondness for Burberry and basebal caps.
7. A person with a fondness for Big Macs or TK Maxx.
Chav. Chavism. Chav Culture, Chavish, Chav-like.
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Has been a whirlwind of a craze in recent years...What you do right, is dress like your going for a run with a hood and baseball cap (baseball bat is optional), or in the girls case dress in your pj's like your going to bed. You stand around on a street corner, and shout abuse at anyone who looks different to you. That particular street corner seems to have a magnet on it as more and more chavs are drawn to that area... Of course you can't go any further than this street corner because of your ASBO... This area becomes otherwise abandoned, people live in fear of being beaten up, and are so intimidated they stay clear of their town centre almost completely. No one dares venture out on a Friday night, if they have any sense, as you get underage kids drinking and smoking, talking about how many birds they shagged in the last week. the girls are dressed like complete and utter sluts,(with skirts so short, your suprised they even bothered to wear one) who only recently discovered there was more use for their private parts than just taking a piss... They are now taking the piss by wearing more make up and wearing more fake bling than a cheap vietnemese whore in a gold spray factory. Often leave school early to pursue a career in shelf stacking.
If your not part of the chavs, your not part of the problem.
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Picture this your waiting at a bus stop and down the bottom end near the toilets dressed in the same shoes, same trousers, same shirt and same coat. You can't tell the difference betwean the males and females except for the slight diference in make up consistency. The females have 4 kilograms per square centermeter while the males only have 2. They hen proceed to walk past everyone in the bus station callin them "goffs" and "twats" simply because they don't have the same clothes on as them. If anyone so much as looks at them for over two seconds they assume that they want a fight and "start on them" as they say. They then get there arse kicked and stumble away shout threats about there brothers and cousins who are "hard as hell"
Giv ten pense how.... whatcha mean chav like im notta chav like piss of how you goff ya startin how ive gotta bruvva in tha aprison and he'll fukin kill ya how.......................Ow y'd ya hit me ow ow ow y ya kickin me OW
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The plague that is spreading across the UK. The male Chav is typically stick thin, with hips wider than his shoulders, short red or blonde hair plastered with obscene amounts of gel, and a deformed mug which looks at least a decade beyond his years. He decks himself in cheap flammable sportswear, white trainers, and a cap which is usually far too large for his pin-head.
The Chav hag is usually obscenely overweight and grotesquely ugly. She decks herself in tracksuits that resemble pajamas. She think's that she's "hot" and thus pulls her thongs up to her 40-inch waistline.
Above all, the Chav is notable for it's bizarre form of speach. Resembling something between gollum and a mentally retarded infant. Though the Chav possesses great knowledge of expletives, it's vocabulary is otherwise limited.
Chavs can often be found lurking outside the local chippy, in children's play areas, at bus shelters, and in pub car parks.
Typical conversation of two chavs.
Chav Turner: Alrite? I was down the pub the uva nite rite, had a fite, had some wite lite, took a shite.
Chav Jason: You is well ard innit!
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basically, you need to follow this :
Burn chavs, do us all a favour
Army dude : flamethrower ready sir!
King: excellent, burn the scum chav into ash!
Chav: no! don't! i lyk av 253434 children innit!! theyz av u cos thre well 'ard lyk bling bling stile!
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This breed of superhuman, sorry, i mean 'super-stupid-human' can be distinguishable by several features, including their inability to pronounce parts of each word, and their shirts that look like theyve all been scribbled on by some kid called 'Nickelson'. They come into your towns like a plague and seem to multiply...i cant think of anyone who would want to actually mate with them though, so have come to the conclusion that the fucktards see fuck-tard are breeding with themselves. Some, in fact, all breeding has turned out unexpectedly, leading to mutations and deformations of the face, personality, and the giant hoops that protrude from their ears. The gold that they wear yes...were all really convnced that you can afford gold jewellery yet are forced to shoplift toilet tissue from ASDA... is truly impressive...they are obviously kings among men...or chimps rather. But what i admire most is how versatile they are. They can adapt easily to the cold, tucking their trousers into their socks, further proving that people can be so dumb that they lose the ability to dress in the correct order...but overall chavs are great people - if ever an Aeroport Radar Tower fails, never fear! as long as theres a chav handy, the once Nauseaous angle at which their caps were placed can double up as a heavy duty radar tower or microwave transmitter - the vast amount of radiation from the microwave signals must explain their strikingly obvious lack of common sense and social image
The bext thing about a chav though is just how looking at one can make me laugh - having gone into my local cornerr shop and encountering about enoguh chavs to fill a bus i was on the floor...i cant but help my urge to laugh at these poor..meek little creatures in the struggle of speaking english.
Well, ive truly outdone myself as far as rambling goes, but for a breed this inferior and ...well..dumb, a surprising amount can be said.
'Awww mate! aiv pissd maself!! heh heh, look at dat! is all up your leg too! proper BO!'
'hah hah i stol dis hat from dat grandad over dere - how 'ard am i??'
next day - all chavs in sight show off their new fashionable flat caps, and tht means theres now a load of poor OAPs with nothing but bare, shiny heads.
oh god, its another hundred chavs..
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