Grab Your Gopher

Verb.

Pronounciation- "Grab Yo're Go Fur"

To masturbate. You know, beat your meat, choke your chicken.

Frank: "Hey dude, did you grab your gopher last night?

Mitch: "Na dude. My grandma was over."

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one eyed gopher

a large sweaty man dick.

my one eyed gopher is looking his hole. ;)

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dramatic look gopher

A term of endearment, often used to describe something very impossibly sad. Also one of the most over used youtube GOD-LIKE videos

Erick: dude why are you so "dramatic look gopher" all of a sudden?

Jhonny: i think i have blue balls man.

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gopher patch

the patch of skin behind the penis/vagina to the asshole, between the legs. Most commnly rubbed during intercourse or agitated by underwear.

I gotta get a new pair of thongs, these keep rubbing my gopher patch raw.

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punxsutawney gopher punch

While fucking a woman, you pull your dick out and smack her ass. If your dick sees its shadow she won't get pregnant for another 6 weeks.

I figured since it was February, I would give my wife a punxsutawney gopher punch. Thankfully she isn't pregnant.

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Gopher Punch

A sucker punch of odd circumstances. It's usually used to refer to someone who "popped out of nowhere" to hit someone. Recipients are usually stunned momentarily before the fight is over (through no act of the "gopher".) To attack someone randomly and without warning. Usually ends a fight.

Patches: *being choked by Vinni*
Vinni: *choking patches*
Mikey: *comes running up from across the street and gopher punches patches in the face, then runs off*
Vinni: What the fuck was that?!

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smoking out the gopher

Taking a dump

“Be sure to get the bathroom code from the cashier, because we all know you’re not getting out of Panda Express without smoking out the gopher.”