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jesus chair

chair of jesus, where jesus' bum sat

"i want to sit in the jesus chair!!"

by dicktofer October 12, 2007

6👍 4👎


chocolate jesus

Similar to the filthy Sanchez but with one major difference. After you've engaged in anal sex you don't just draw the mustache, you give them the full beard.

I gave your sister the chocolate Jesus last night.

Really, how'd she take it?

I don't remember cause after i left i got struck by lightning.

by DjinnNTawnik June 4, 2007

10👍 12👎


Kinky Jesus

A sexual position where the woman goes up against the wall, with her arms out horizontally like Jesus. The man is in front of her with his hands clasped in hers, humping her very fast and sweaty.

Also, if you're into this sort of thing, it can be done with two guys but they both face the same direction.

My girlfriend was begging me to give her a kinky jesus.

by Alex and the Delawana crew September 20, 2007

10👍 11👎


Jesus is Savior

Jesus is savior is perhaps the biggest troll website on the internet. Within its hallowed lines of code, insane author David J. Stewart, only real prophet of one Jesus H. Christ, spreads the true word of God to everyone who incurs his (David’s) wrath, such as the whole human race, which includes but is not limited to whites, blacks, Asians, Arabs, Chinks, niggas, niggers, Negroes, crackers, Whitey, terrorists, faggots, and the French, and reveals to you that everything you know and love is in reality “of the devil” (even the Bible) and run by “Banksters.” According to this website, anyone who is not David Stewart is bound for demonic booty-rape in Hell, the domain of the Devil, Illuminati, and Democratic Party. The website uses elegant literary devices such as contradiction, grammatical and spelling errers, non-contradiction, redundancy, redundancy, and destroying the reputations of celebrities, including those who need no help in that capacity, such as Justin Bieber, “Satan’s Homosexual Boy Toy.” The reason this website was created is because David got all butt-hurt after child protective services forced his daughter to take drugs that made her hair fall out. Reliving the Red Scare by calling things Communist is also another prevalent theme in Jesus-is-savior. Later in his life, David became a necromancer and beat small children, which led to his flight to Brazil where he remains today.

Drunkard 1: I have a new drinking game we can play.
Drunkard 2: What are the rules?
Drunkard 1: Let’s read an article on Jesus is savior and take a drink every time a reference to Satan is made.
Drunkard 2: Sounds tight brah!
(The poor booze-hounds died of alcohol poisoning without even getting halfway through the article)

by Ronald Bringus Ph.D. September 8, 2015

23👍 32👎


Jesus police

A Jesus police is a person of authority who has shot and killed an innocent , unarmed person ..

He don’t even believe in Jesus .. !!
Why’d he call the Jesus police .. ??

by AfterMatth .. February 15, 2020


Jesus Boner

A boner so holy that divine light is shed upon it and a choir of alter boys sing in the background. Morning wood becomes morning good.

That hoe got the Jesus Boner, nah mean?
(The choir passes in a catholic bus)

by Narcoleptic Cactus June 16, 2018


Jesus Boner

Literally jesus’s holy erected dick

Damn, he has a jesus boner there.”

by DickSucka69 March 5, 2018