posh man's wank

Where a man wears a condom whilst masturbating, as opposed to catching the spunk in a tissue/ something similar. The word 'posh' is used to denote the expense of buying a pack of condoms for such a menial reason (to make the wank more pleasurable).

"I've still got some jonnies left over, I know, I'll have a posh man's wank."

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seven wank wall

The wall you hit after you have jerked off seven times in 24 hours. It is said that if you attempt an 8th wank your vision will go blurry and you will pass out.

Dude Abi Titmuss is so hot, she made me hit the seven wank wall, I tried the 8th and I woke up like an hour later with an aching crotch!

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pokey bum wank

The insertion of your finger or object into your rectum whilst masturbating, to increase pleasure

" I'm for a pokey bum wank tonight "

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Suicide wank chop

Where you have to take a shot of ice cold lemoncello then immediately followed by a line of ketamine.

'Hey James! How about me and you go back to the apartment and do a suicide wank chop?'
'Mate, we can do anything'

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Wank like an Egyptian.

The act of masturbating whereby one uses only their imagination to reach climax. Internet porn is not allowed.

Guy 1: "I'm gonna go home and take a shower after we're done here."

Guy 2: "You gonna rub one out while you're there?"

Guy 1: "Man, come on, you know I can't wank like an Egyptian."

Guy 3: "No talking in the operating theatre please"

stone age wank

when you dont have anything to masturbate to so you must think about it

the internet is down so i'll have to stone age wank

Wank Wool Glove

A Woolen Wank Glove is a knitted accessory used to wank with........

If used too much however the Woolen Wank Glove may become bobbled and itchy (and at this point ask your partner to get their 'de-bobbler' out from under the stairs)

If your outside in the cold and the moment arises, use your Wank Wool Glove and bosh away.