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one-eyed monster

Da wang

by Anonymous September 30, 2003

142๐Ÿ‘ 69๐Ÿ‘Ž


loch ness monster

An unidentified animal living in Loch Ness, the largest body of fresh water in Britain. It first came to the attention of the general public in the thirties when a London surgeon R.K.Wilson took a photo of what looked like the head-and-neck of a dinosaur-like creature. What with The Lost World and RKO's King Kong in the cinema, there was an explosion in public interest. The monster's image, however, was to be forever tainted by the pantomime which followed, in which a game big hunter called Wetherall came to Loch Ness and discovered footprints on the shore. The tracks turned out to have been made by a hippo foot, which was some kind of ashtray or other keepsake. What kind of a big game hunter couldn't work out that they were all hippo tracks made by the same foot I don't know, but he left Loch Ness. In 1994 the now-famous surgeon's photo turned out to be a fake, a model on a toy submarine made by Wetherall - revenge on the world that mocked him. Over the years there have been a number of photos and films of unidentified creatures in Loch Ness. Some have been proved as fakes (to be honest, I wasn't surprised when the surgeon's photo turned out to be a fake. I'd always thought there was something odd about it). But there is still strong film evidence and a lot of eye-witness evidence to support the existence of a long-necked animal of some kind. Modern scientists often dismiss eye-witness evidence as non-evidence. I'm glad they're not running the judicial system, otherwise they'd have every prisoner released. What doesn't help is a decidedly vulgar merchandising industry which has turned the monster into nothing more than a theme park attraction. The official Loch Ness exhibition centre now officially doesn't believe in Nessie anyway. Their cinema now shows visitors a film telling of all the reasons why Nessie is a hoax, accompanied by silly music. You leave the cinema at the end of the film and are then confronted by a shop selling plush Nessies, Nessie mugs, china Nessies, Nessies with tartan hats and endless other over-priced junk. Personally I'm sure there were unidentified animals in Loch Ness until recent years. I think, what with their proven sensitivity to noise, and what with Loch Ness now covered in countless noisy boats of every shape and form, that whatever was in the Loch has either died out or returned to the sea never to return. Either way, I think it's better for the welfare of these creatures that their existence is never proved.

Newsflash, 3/4/2011:
The existence of long-necked creatures in Loch Ness has been proved. Now every science laboratory in the world wants one to dissect. Every zoo wants one, and every gourmand in the world wants to taste the flesh of one in some revoltingly over-priced restaurant.
Within the year, the loch ness monster will be as dead as dodos and Stellar's sea cows.

by StormSworder August 17, 2006

311๐Ÿ‘ 165๐Ÿ‘Ž


loch ness monster

An ugly woman (coined by groundskeeper Willie)

Ach! Back to the loch with YOU nessie!

by Omgwtfbbq October 10, 2004

171๐Ÿ‘ 91๐Ÿ‘Ž


Power Hungry Monster

A person who craves an insane amount of power constantly. The person will sacrifice any and all of his time in order to gain more power.

See God


by The Power Hungry Monster February 6, 2003

26๐Ÿ‘ 11๐Ÿ‘Ž


christina aguliera monster

A small insect-like thing, with black skinny legs, fat pink body and christina aguilera's head. Seen by Cartman on South Park after he begins taking medication for his eyesight.

"Ah, amn I've been seeing these little pink Christina aguilera monsters all over the place."
"Whatever fatass"

by My name April 23, 2005

96๐Ÿ‘ 50๐Ÿ‘Ž


Big Green Monster

An extremely large penis see also Jolly Green Giant

"Hey Kevin Chambers! Show these ladies the Big Green Monster!"

by gsxr4play November 18, 2009

12๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž


COOKIE monster

the random guy that always brings cookies to school... and makes u envy the fact he didnt offer u any

"did u se j?" "yeah and he didnt even offer me a cookie" "wat a cookie monster"

by juvi d May 23, 2006

2๐Ÿ‘ 11๐Ÿ‘Ž