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Killing two pigs with one bird

A modern version of the popular saying "killing two birds with one stone." derived from the popular video game "angry birds."

I was killing two pigs with one bird by eating lunch and playing angry birds at the same time.

by Mrgus March 23, 2011

8154๐Ÿ‘ 2582๐Ÿ‘Ž


My Life with The Thrill Kill Kult

Awesome Industrial Rock dance band from Chicago. Some of their best songs include "A Daisy Chain 4 Satan", "Kooler Than Jesus", "Nervous Xians"/"After the Flesh", and "The Days of Swine and Roses". Very energetic and sexy lives shows.

I saw My Life with The Thrill Kill Kult last night. Wicked show man.

by GaaraoftheDamned October 14, 2012

13๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


I'll Kill You Later Smile

The smile parents give their kids when they fuck around in public but the parents can't kill their kid yet.

Joshua broke a can of tomato sauce at the grocery store so his mom gave him an I'll Kill You Later Smile before calling over an employee.

by Opinionated Webster June 2, 2016


Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em

A punchline to a joke, the whole joke is almost never heard.

There are various setups to this punchline. Here's one:

One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'

As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its a**.

Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'

The next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's a**.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word 'a**' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'Em."

Or this shorter version:

Teacher: So Johnny, how was your weekend?
Johnny: Horrible. A car hit my dog, right in the a**!
Teacher (correcting Johnny's language): Rectum.
Johnny: Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em!

by the_only_real_coffee_sloth September 11, 2009

212๐Ÿ‘ 62๐Ÿ‘Ž


i know who killed me

That god-awful 2007 movie with Lindsay Lohan. She played a stripper with one leg and one arm. And she had a twin that her dad stole from his mom's fetus.

The movie came out after she was charged for DUI and cocaine possession, making her a bigging laughingstock than she already was. Quite a feat.

"In the gory psychological thriller โ€œI Know Who Killed Me,โ€ Ms. Lohan plays a wealthy college student who writes fiction, excels at the piano and refuses to sleep with her boyfriend...(and also plays) a stripper with a crackhead mom. No prizes for guessing which performance is more believable."
--Jeanette Catsoulis, New York Times

by dilary huff August 10, 2007

41๐Ÿ‘ 9๐Ÿ‘Ž


I Can't Coman Kill Myself

It's a popular Nigerian expression for "In the end i did my best". It is often used by Nigerian men with lower sex drive than their partners (especially when the partner wants sex more often and in a more erotic way)

Although the term gained popularity through a song by Timaya named "I Can't Kill Myself" in 2019. As the popularity of the phrase has increased so too has the number of different meanings associated with it.

Bright: My wife complains i don't last longer in bed.
Bovi: How long does she expect you keep thrusting?
Bright: An hour or more. I told her i can't coman kill myself. It's sex not a damn trip to Benin.

by Grumpy Ned January 7, 2020

15๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Kill the retard, fuck the whore

I think... Uh... I think I got some Oedipus complex stuff going on. I don't know... I'm not a doctor.

Hym "So... I've been getting a lot of questions about the 'Kill the retard, fuck the whore' thing so here's my response: You idiots are referencing the thing that you're doing to me but you really don't seem to understand how it works. So, I'll explain to you it in a way that your malformed and unsophisticated shit-brains can understand. Everyone who sees me does the thing that you are doing. Every time they see me. You follow? You keeping up with this? Ok. So, for a time, everything out of everyone's mouths was some kind of defense or justification for the existence of a mentality disabled retard molestation cult. As you all probably know, that's a total non-starter for me. So I wanted to reaffirm that my stance on the topic has not changed. Kill the retard. Fuck the whore. That shit was annoying and if I ever start a business I will make they days that any one of those people die a holiday and will give my employees the day off. Additionally, some guy told me 'I was right' the other day. I know I'm right! I appreciate the sentiment though. And some people referenced the brothel madam today. Very friendly. But that's neither here nor there. I've already blown past my point. I've already done what I've set out to do I guess so... Yeah... Give me my free money now please. ๐Ÿ˜"

by Hym Iam May 5, 2022

2๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž