Random
Source Code
Random
A masterbation technique where you bend down on your knees, throw your shoulders to the floor and think about black pussy as you stare at the night sky.
Sometimes when I'm lonely Captain Miskawitz comforts me.
A handsome, athletic douchebag. He's got the world's best body but has fried his brain smoking mass pot. He claims to have given a girl 10 orgasms in an hour. Every girl secretly wants his dick.
*Best friends with Major Dick...
Did you see Captain T-bag today? I LOVE his arms in that cut-off!
1đź‘Ť 4đź‘Ž
Similar to the cheerleader effect, the captain effect occurs when everyone in the group, male or female, is agreeably unattractive, EXCEPT for one individual. That individual is deemed the captain because he or she commands the outer attention of the group, AND is undoubtedly the best looking of the bunch. However, without his or her crew the captain is nothing.
Ex. If you have 4 girls in a group and all of them are the same, except 1 girl is noticeably taller and slimmer, who do you sleep with?
a. 1 of the 3. You have better chances.
b. The 1 exception. She's the captain.
c. All of the above. "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." –Aristotle
d. None of the above. You've got a computer at home.
"A captain without his crew plays with his ship, alone, by himself, in the middle of the sea, where plenty of fish do NOT exist."
–Creeper at the bar
Bro 1: You see that girl?
Bro 2: Which one? They're all ugly.
Bro 1: The good-looking one.
Bro 2: She only looks good because everyone else is way uglier than her. It's the captain effect.
Bro 1: Well, I'd still do her.
Bro 2: Well, that's because you have beer goggles.
When a guy takes a piss with his foot propped up on something (Usually the side of the bath tub) like Captain Morgan stands with his foot on a barrel.
I like your bathroom, I can pee Captain Morgan stance in it.
A "Captain Bro" is a term used for an Airline Pilot Captain who's super chill in the cockpit and out. He's layed back and enjoys a good craft beer a good time and never gets excited about anything. His co-pilots marvel at his airmenship skills and the amount of "fucks" he doesn't give. He uses the word "fuck or bro" like its a comma. When he's not ripping across the sky at 500mph he's a beach bum at heart. Hes fit, tan and just got back from 3 weeks in Tahiti. Don't leave him alone with your wife or gf because he'll hit on her and blame it on you. When he walks through the airport women want him and men want to be him. The airline industry desperately needs more "Captain Bros" bro!
Last night Captain Bro and I went out for drinks and next thing I knew we were at the titty bar slamming shots and double fisting beers. Today he said he thinks he lost his pinky ring messing around with that strippers C-section scar. I told him don't do it but he's a captain bro he doesn't give a FUCK!
A common exclamation, used by everyone from Gen Z to Joe Biden.
“You got no fizz, Captain Friday!”
“Folks, did you see what the Republicans did? Captain Friday! I couldn’t believe it!”
The act of putting Mashed Potatoes in a Pastry Bag and squirting them into someone’s ass… Then having Anal sex and cumming in the ass. Putting a tube in said ass and sucking the cum and potatoes out!
I was with my girl last night and she made me a Mashed Potato Captain.