Irish Alarm Clock

The sound someone makes when they overreact about nothing

Person 1: Hey did you hear that joke about the Irish Priest

Person 2: Hey quite down, you'll set that stupid bitches Irish Alarm Clock off

Stupid Bitch: WAAAAAAA! *indeciferable wailing*

Person 1&2: Oh shit.

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An alarm clock tissue

It is used in an instance where your boyfriend uses you up as an alarm clock to wake him up in the morning and crushes you into a ball and throws you off the bed to snooze you.

Rishik, I feel like I am an alarm clock tissue in this relationship.

Westminster Alarm Clock

A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.

Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!

Dirty alarm clock

A woman standing over an alarm clock primed for 3:00AM while giving a blowjob and either cums or pisses on the alarm clock before the alarm goes off

"yo, once we went to my place we tried doin a " dirty alarm clock."

Alarm Clock Decision

A decision to do something or go somewhere that you won't make until the day it happens. Coined by talk radio host Mark Belling on February 12, 2020.

Am I going out of town tomorrow? It will be an alarm clock decision.

French Alarm Clock

The Act of preforming oral sex on your partner, so as to wake them from sleeping

"the morning after we hooked up, Stacy gave me a French Alarm Clock."

Palestinian alarm clock

Slang for time bomb

Peter: this thing is useless, just like my Palestinian alarm clock

*Flashback*:
*Palestinian alarm starts ringing: "ALLAHU AKBAR (followed by a literal explosion)

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