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This breed of superhuman, sorry, i mean 'super-stupid-human' can be distinguishable by several features, including their inability to pronounce parts of each word, and their shirts that look like theyve all been scribbled on by some kid called 'Nickelson'. They come into your towns like a plague and seem to multiply...i cant think of anyone who would want to actually mate with them though, so have come to the conclusion that the fucktards see fuck-tard are breeding with themselves. Some, in fact, all breeding has turned out unexpectedly, leading to mutations and deformations of the face, personality, and the giant hoops that protrude from their ears. The gold that they wear yes...were all really convnced that you can afford gold jewellery yet are forced to shoplift toilet tissue from ASDA... is truly impressive...they are obviously kings among men...or chimps rather. But what i admire most is how versatile they are. They can adapt easily to the cold, tucking their trousers into their socks, further proving that people can be so dumb that they lose the ability to dress in the correct order...but overall chavs are great people - if ever an Aeroport Radar Tower fails, never fear! as long as theres a chav handy, the once Nauseaous angle at which their caps were placed can double up as a heavy duty radar tower or microwave transmitter - the vast amount of radiation from the microwave signals must explain their strikingly obvious lack of common sense and social image
The bext thing about a chav though is just how looking at one can make me laugh - having gone into my local cornerr shop and encountering about enoguh chavs to fill a bus i was on the floor...i cant but help my urge to laugh at these poor..meek little creatures in the struggle of speaking english.
Well, ive truly outdone myself as far as rambling goes, but for a breed this inferior and ...well..dumb, a surprising amount can be said.
'Awww mate! aiv pissd maself!! heh heh, look at dat! is all up your leg too! proper BO!'
'hah hah i stol dis hat from dat grandad over dere - how 'ard am i??'
next day - all chavs in sight show off their new fashionable flat caps, and tht means theres now a load of poor OAPs with nothing but bare, shiny heads.
oh god, its another hundred chavs..
93👍 33👎
Easily recognisable by their Nike Shox trainers in absurd colours, football socks pulled up to the knees with Nike tracksuit bottoms tucked into them, a fake Rocksport jacket from off the market and a burberry cap off the back of a lorry ( also fake). You will also notice their funny walk as they are weighed down by the amount of fake jewelery purchased from the Argos catalogue. Older chavs are found not on the street corners, but on the roads in souped up Novas with their neon lights and floor scraping body kits which max out at 30mph! They have also been known to ride absurdly stupid mini motos. If you are aproached by a chav, do NOT back away. Advance quickly and shout random big words at him or them. With the weight of their jewelry dragging them down, its a simple case of loading your M-16 and blasting away.
Noo man not mi burbray cap, cost mi a fiva oof the market
35👍 10👎
a chav is a person who is a complete twat and goes around terrorising people. the girls wear/look like : trackies, usually pregnant, soon to be pregnant, or already has a child/children. they wear tacky gold necklaces of a clown or doll. either that or "MASSIV" gold chains. the hands of a chavette are usually heavily adourned with gold rings or soverings which are absolute bollocks. the shoes chavettes like to wear are K Swiss, Lacoste, Fred Perry or some other bag of wank bollocks. The jackets they wear are either Berghaus, Helly Hansen or some other "designer" make. their faces are caked in make up to hide the uglyness and the hair is heavily straightened with the hottest straighteners you can get. possibly GHDs. the girls always accuse perfectly normal, cool people, such as grebs or emos, of "givin them evils". i get several people at school saying to me, "what u lookin at" or my personal favourite, "why wer u givin me evils in PE." OH MY FUCKING GOD. there is no rest. the boys wear trackies, thick woolly socks which their trackies are tucked into. they wear the same shoes and coats as the girls. also reebok, and adidas, nike and other sports shoes are worn. the boys will usually ask out girls who are lovely people, but not quite "a fit bird". i have had people ask me out before and it is so fake. it's pretty obvious these people have nothing better to do. the boys will leer at girls and call people such as emos, or alternatives, "slags". i am still trying to figure out why. the hangouts of these fucktards are mcdonalds, parks where they get adults or their older "rock hard" siblings to buy them some cheap cider which is consumed here. or bus shelters, street corners, long busy roads at night time. *trust me, i hate walking down my road in the evening*. urm i don't really know what else to say apart from they will spit on/at you if they see you on the street. and have no education. no decent family. will leave school with no or extremely poor GCSEs. wont/dont go to college/university. if they have a job it should be cleaning up horse muck. oh sweet, sweet revenge. chavs ARE the muck and constantly think about sex. they always want girls to get their tits/minge out on webcam and will shove you if they see you at school. they use the word "grog" which means, "to spit" and will pea shoot at you. if you do not know what pea shoot means, it is when a tube of some sort, usually what pens come in, have a piece of chewed up paper which has actually been in the chav's trampy, groggy, fillingd'up mouth. they spit the piece of paper at you. it CAN stick in your arm and this is extremely tramp. also beware, if you are in class, they may throw pieces of rubber/eraser at you. AVOID THESE WANKERS AT ALL COSTS. they terrorise the innocent, take drugs, get "E'd up" at weekends . the most common things chavs say are,
"what the fuck u lookin at"
"shes a right bird. look at them tits. ad easy shag that."
"ner marrt. she wudnt go anywer ner ya. ur way out 'er league"
"am i bollox"
"u go' a light?"
"save us 2's"
"save us 3's"
"can i shag ya"
"a shagged ya mam"
"ma mam is a rite slag"
"do u get E'd up at the weekend then"
"fuckin sweaty grebo" *SOOO ORIGINAL...*
"stupid emo go sit in a corner and slit ur wrists" *ORIGINAL AS FUCK....*
"ur a fuckin ugly RAT" *note the emphasis on rat*
well that's about it. oh and tons of chavs live on the nunny. shithole of grimsby (n)
chavs wear trackies, tacky jewellery and nick bikes from kids back yards.
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A new form of vermin that is common in the U.K. Chavs wear loads of fake jewellry in a vain attempt to look wealthy or "gangsta" They also wear burberry baseball caps, branded clothes and tracksuits(even in the summer). They often spend time hanging around outside McDonalds, drinking crappy cider and saying stupid random things to passers by. They'e the main focus of my aggression at this point. Chav stands for "Council house affaliated vermin". Their language consists of words like "sick", and "innit blud" and "brruuup" and "bear pussy" and other such nonsense. Chavs should be gotten rid of and fast.
Fuckin Chavs, blobking up macdonlads, saying annoying things to you when you pass by, drive crappy cars, listen to crappy music, I HATE CHAVS!!!
Everyone who likes Chavs, Start digging some Chav holes - and make them gas proof...
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Will be on benefits, Someone who robs old ladies, Does not know what a word above 4 letters reads, Cannot talk or spell in proper English, Has no GCSE's, Cannot spell their own name, Waste of space, Always wears a tracksuit, Is a dick and
Lives on an estate
Normal Person: Your a Chav
Chav: Brap!
21👍 5👎
Everyone has seen at least one - they have the 'fur' trimmed hoods to their coats and have the appaling makeup (bright blue rings round their eyes and big black mascara clumps). The male one's look just as bad, with the same coats and they gel their hair into spikes and try and look "well 'ard" as I believe the term is.
They drive around with their stereo so loud you can't hear anything else (including jet englines) over the top, and their car seat so far back they can't see over the dash or even the steering wheel. They drive the crapest, cheapest cars going (usually with two strips down the middle and under lights and spoilers and cat - killer exhausts) it is amazing the cars don't break down every ten miles.
They attempt to look intimidating by standing at street corners and practising faces that would make them look so much better if only the wind changed direction... Infact the girls look like prostitutes (many of them are, but you'd have to be really desperate) and the guys look either like complete prats or poofs. If they don't intimidate you when you walk past them they throw bricks through your windows and believe ASBO'S to be cool.
These are people who should be shot, unfortunately they tend to be 'popular' at school I don't know why.
Wayne Rooney and his missus are chavs. So are most popstars...
21👍 5👎
Chavs are the scum of the earth, the lowest social class. They are a bunch of immature anti-social twats who have nothing better to do than try and appear hard using the following methods:
*SMOKING
*Wearing big thick (fake) gold chains around their necks, usually out side of their shirt.
*Burberry.. enough said
*Wearing hoodies and caps so that people and (more importantly) security cameras cannot see their ugly faces.
*They vandalize and graffiti walls and cars.
*They start fights on anyone different to them, but only if they are in a large group, a lone chav will always back down and run off to get his big brother if he finds himself confronted 1 on 1.
*They sit on street corners smoking and drinking cheap cider and shouting at people and smashing beer bottles on the pavement (if they were able to steal their dads Stella).
*They are so stupid that the stereotype anyone who hates them as an emo, chavs have a blind hatred for emos because of the way they dress. This is because chavs are to fucking retarded to figure out that people dont hate them for what they wear, while they do look ridiculous, chavs are mainly hated for being thugs and vandals rather than what they wear. Unlike chavs, emos dont do anything wrong but chavs just like to make themselves feel as if they are superior to someone. Chavs also hate rockers/moshers but dont start fights with them because they would get the shit kicked out of them.
CHAV TRANSPORT:
They buy a shitty car and spend loads of money modifying it to the point that they could have just bought a decent car for the same money.
Common chav cars include: Fiesta,Escort, Corsa,Nova,106,306,AX,Saxo.
Common modifications to cars include:
Rear lexus lights, big exhausts, spoilers, body kits, big alloys and the essential:
STEREO/SPEAKER SYSTEM, this usual consists of a cheap CD player, 2 6x9 speakers (4 if they managed to rob enough money from Spar) and a crappy sub that blasts out distorted drum nd bass beats as they drive past. (if you can hear it over the horrible noise from their massive exhaust).
FEMALE CHAVS:
*Dumb ugly bitches who get pregnant before they even reach 16. They will raise a baby at about 17 and as a result the baby will become another chav contributing noting to society.
*They think they can get away with anything because they use their boyfriends as a threat to boss people around even tho their boyfriend is some pussy chav who isn't going to do shit.
Chavs in society:
*Chavs are frowned upon by every other social group, and they are the only social group to hate other social groups because they are to thick to understand why they are hated.
*Female chavs are always getting pregnant and neglecting their children resulting in the spreading of the chav population.
*Chavs are the most hated group of people in Europe.
Chavs and the law:
*Killing chavs is not against the law because scientists have discovered that a chavs IQ is to low for it to be a living being.
*Fortunately this does not stop police from putting ASBOs on them and even sending their asses to prison.
Chav status:
A chavs status in the group depends on the following factors:
How many ASBOs they have had
How many emos they have beaten up
How many older brothers they have
Bonus points if their older brothers are in the army
How old their older brothers are
How many times hey have gotten their 14 year old girlfriend pregnant.
How much money they have spent on modifying their car
How loud their car stereo is (reguardless of the horrible distortion)
How many different kinds of drugs they have done, higher points for higher class drugs.
REQUIREMENTS TO BECOME A CHAV:
You have to smoke
You have to have a shit car
You need to have beaten someone up or had ur brother beat someone up.
You need "bling"
A taste for hip-hop and hardcore is a must.
You have to wear hoodies and baseball caps, burberry
material is preferred
You have to hate emos
chav:"Oi what u lookin at u fockin mosher?!!"
mosher:"nothing"
chav:"yeh thats it, jog on u fockin prik"
*mosher goes to confront chav*
*chav runs to get big brother*
18👍 4👎