this is a term used when you are so sad that you are brought to tears, and you use those delicate tears as lubrication and give yourself a run around the town. It's sad, pathetic, and often done after you break up with your significant other but aren't fortunate enough to have breakup sex.
Ted and I are over, so I'm gonna go cry masturbate
Sad material used to provoke a good sob session. Examples include The Notebook, pictures of children with cancer, and that one episode of Futurama (you know the one).
Friend 1: Man I've been really feeling bummed out lately. I think I need a good sob session.
Friend 2: Here, borrow my copy of season 5. The second episode is my favorite cry porn.
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(verb) usu., issued as a command:
A phrase typically directed at one loudly complaining about their First World Problems.
"But I wanted a WHITE iPhone for Christmas, dad!!!"
"You're bitching about the color, now? Cry harder, cupcake. You're 17 years old, and it's high time you look for a fuckin job. Be thankful I got your leeching ass anything at all."
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The ugly cry is the kind of thing actors and actresses train for years to defeat. It involves your eyes getting puffy, red and bloodshot, your nose running off your face, your skin getting blotchy and red, and your facial features bunching up rather unattractively.
Girl 1: Oh God, who died?
Girl 2: What do you mean?
Girl 1: I just saw Evelyn in the bathroom, doing the ugly cry in the corner. I just figured...
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An Ipod, or any electronic media player, filled with gigs and gigs of emo, shoegaze, screamcore, or any kind of music assosiated with sad white kids.
He was trying to be friendly, and offered me his Nano, in case there was anything I'd like to listen to. Thirty seconds of scrolling through his cry pod quickly confirmed that we would probably have very little in common.
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A person that finds offense at anything to use as an excuse for poor behavior
Did you see her comment on my post on illegal immigration she is such a cry bully fat Linda
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A jealousy-induced form of regretful masturbation; usually occurs after one realizes their ex no longer wants them and/or after seeing them "getting it in" with a new lover.
Dude is Devin crying? ...Dude is Devin masturbating? Oh Shit! That poor bastard's cry-sturbating!
After seeing his ex playing tonsil hockey with her new man at the superbowl party, Devin scampered away to his room for an all night session of loud & painfully pleasant cry-sturbation.
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