Sorry, I Can't Be With You On Valentines Day

A cheating asshole.

"Sorry, I Can't Be With You On Valentines Day. I have this big project..."

I can't compeed

When the blister already burst and you can't put a Compeed brand band aid on it

"Try putting on a Compeed" - "Nah, bitch's already burst, i can't compeed!"

I can't believe you looked that up

No, seriously, I'm in shock.

I can't believe you looked up "I can't believe you looked that up." What the hell, man?

Why can't I own a Canadian?

one of the internet's favorite google autocomplete fuck-ups

Guy: Why can't I o...
Google: "Why can't I own a Canadian?"?
Guy: no what the fuck is wrong with you

I can't stop the voice

Real real.

I can't stop the voice..

I can't fucking breathe

Something that somebody says when somebody posts an unfunny GIF on twitter, when their face hasn't changed at all.

Person 1: posts GIF
Person 2: OMG I can't fucking breathe!
Also Person 2: :|

I can't coman go and kee mysef

This is a local phrase used mostly by Nigerian millennials as witty remarks, to describe a scenario where one is tired or gives up on a situation or thing.

In a nutshell, it's used to describe a scenario where something is incapable of being solved or accomplished.

Since my last relationship, my life has been nothing but peace at its finest. Ah, I can't coman go and kee mysef.

After cooking the meals and tucking the kids to bed by 10pm, you still expect me to do your laundry? I can't coman go and kee mysef o.