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Management that is ineffective, especially when they are attempting to look like they are by doing a lot of running around and using business power words that are often used out of context. Coined due to the similarity to Jim Henson's Muppets. They move their mouths and flail around a bit, but accomplish little to nothing in the end.
Mr. Thompson: I just don't get it, Mr. Arlington really seems to be on top of things, but we still are not making any profit in his devision.
Mr Jones: *Laughs* Really? Well I have been told by some of his people that he is nothing more than Muppet Management.
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When a guy can't make it past 3rd base with a woman, he ends up taking a shower, where he takes care of business himself.
Sam- "Did you go all the way with Joan last night?"
Dave- "No, I accidentally called her 'chunky beast'"
Sam- "dude, so what happened?"
Dave- "she left & I took a shower where I fired the manager."
Sam- "righteous man, righteous"
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Glorified business hooker, typically hired by a consulting whorehouse, which pimps out its consultants to clients, who then proceed to fuck the consultants over until they're pleased (or until the consultants are dead), pay the whorehouse big bucks, leaving the consultant with little commission and lasting trauma.
Hopeful college grad: What are some key qualities I need to have be a management consultant?
Experienced management consultant: Be able to handle long fuckings and be okay with a shortened lifespan
A: You're a management consultant? What are some of the most exotic places you've traveled to and the coolest resorts you've stayed at for work?
B: I once stayed at a Best Western to get fucked by my client in bumblefuck Western Virginia everyday for a year.
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The process of managing your boss so that you and people who work for you can get work done with minimal interference.
Ray is such a micro-manager! I have to spend three quarters of my day managing up!
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When SaveMart takes all their post dated meat thats turning green and re-labels it with "MANAGER SPECIAL!" stickers.
I've been in the hospital for a week now from eating the manager special from SaveMart.
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Knowledge Management (KM) is a discipline of management supposedly dedicated to ensuring that people in an organisation have timely access to the information and expertise they need to do their job. In reality, KM is a discipline full of semi-literate twats who like to use big words. They say things like "We're going to strategically align our knowledge resources with the company-wide strategy going forwards","We're moving into the client space", "I'm mostly working on the growth pillar to add value", and "Going forwards, we're working on a P2P strategy to add value and capture tacit knowledge." In English, all of this roughly translates into one sentence "I'm a giant wanker who produces no meaningful work and talks a load of shite. Senior managers love me because I sound good to other people who only have a fourth grade reading level and are impressed by big words".
KM adds nothing useful to any organisation, except where they have managed to take over research and subscription services or database management. In which cases, the managers take all credit for the work done by their lowly minions, thus further convincing senior management that they "add value", when the reality is quite the opposite. Any cost-cutting exercise in any large organisation should start by savagely slashing the senior KM people - let the minions report to each other and you'll probably get a lot more done anyway.
I tried to find some information but it had been knowledge managed
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A term that refers to african americans who supervise monkies in trees.
Branch Manager: "OHHH OOHHH AAHHH AAHH!!"
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