Beer Trick

-You take a 0,5 liter Ikea Glas.
-Put in the cheapest PET Beer you find.
-Than give a 2 fingers width shot of Vodka in it.

There you go

Silke: Oh no! He´s doing the beer trick again!
Özkan: For sure. I care about my Liver.

Guffy Beer

A kind of beer which, by definition, has to be non-mainstream, pretentious, unnecessary to get drunk on and tastes like fizzed up baking soda. The most common kinds are German wheat beers, Dutch porters and Belgium ales, or are otherwise sourced from some kind of country which is at least 1000 miles away. Consumption of such beer entitles said individual to the esteemed prize of 'Top Guffy', or the more recent 'Guffy of The Year Award', and upon drinking a guffy beer one will turn into a deranged lunatic who spouts off nonsense at the top of their voice. They certainly get you drunk quick though.

"Stu just bought a Weihenstephan, he certainly likes his guffy beer."

"I could sure go for a Paulaner Heffe Weisse right now."
"Wow, you sure are a guffy."

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Santa Beers

Shotgun beers on christmas eve or day.

Let's go down to the basement and have some santa beers.

Beer Skank

A woman who will do anything sexual in return for a beer, or two, or ten.

I once asked a girl if she wanted to buy 3 beers for $6. She made a counter offer of 3 beers for a blowjob. She was a beer skank.

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fetish beer

Bad tasting beer drank warm. Often purchased cold and ran under hot water from the sink to bring the beer to room temperature. This beer is to be drank while pleasure yourself to an attractive member of the opposite sex. This person must be from the city where the bad tasting beer is manufactured. Part of the 'self harm' fetish.

I grabbed some Old Milwaukee Ice tonight for my fetish beer.

The Beer's Prayer

Our Lager,

Which art in barrels

Hallowed be thy drink.

Thy will be drunk,

I will be drunk,

At home as in the tavern.

Give us this day our foamy head

and forgive us our spillages

as we forgive those that spill against us

and lead us not into incarceration.

But deliver us from hang-overs,

for thine is the beer,

The bitter and the lager

forever and ever

Barmen!

I sit down and pray The Beer's Prayer before I go out every night.

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Beer Math

A formula to ensure you (or whoever you are buying beer for) gets the drunkest for lowest amount of money:

"Beer Score" = (Beer Size x Beer ABV) / Price

Used to get the score of the beer you are drinking and to compare against other beer's score.

Pint of Guinness costs $5 at the bar... 16oz x 4.2 ABV / $5 = 13

Quart of Olde English costs $3 at the corner store... 32oz x 5.9 ABV / $3 = 63

So using Beer Math it takes 5x as much money to get drunk off Guinness at the bar than it does from OE in parking lot.

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