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A penis so large, that it is often thought of as a myth. While it exists, few have seen the schlongness monster released.
Sara said that when mike pulled out his penis it was so big, that she thought it was the lochness monster. He shouted, its the schlongness monster, then knocked her in the face with it.
a massive cock that requires special pants to contain its sheer power and girth
"Ayo you see Tyler over there? He's packin a real schlong mcdong"
A small di-
Person 1: Yo that guy has a small schlong
Person 2: Yeah
Much the same as beer goggles, though no alcohol is required; i.e the man's schlong makes a terrible, terrible decision about a girl best left alone. The brain is hardly involved, if at all.
This may occur after many months of sexual frustration, or simply if he is a slag.
verb; to schlong-goggle
"jesus tom, what were you thinking?"
"i don't know man, i definitely had my schlong-goggles on"
"however hard tom tried, he simply could not remove the schlong-goggles from his eyes"
When your nut sack is longer than your your asshole after Ant Man expanded in it.
I have a schlong sack
Eager to provide oral service to a cock(s).
Not stopping until all parties involved are satisfied
I sure schlong gobbled that redneck cowboy last night.