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Originally coined by Youtube Pooper "MoBrosStudios" in the early 2010's, and then picked up by The Mysterious Mr. Enter, a Squidward Torture Porn is an episode of Spongebob, where rather than actually tell an interesting humorous story, the writers fall into laziness and just decide to make Squidward's life a dry hell. In the earlier days of Spongebob, this formula was seldom used, and only when Squidward did something to deserve it. However after the departure of Stephen Hillenberg and all the other competent writers, these episodes became much more recurring, despite the fact that nobody likes them. These torture porns, though common, are not exclusive to Squidward. Anyone, even Spongebob himself, can be given these torture porns provided they either are in a benevolent mood, or just minding their own business. The best way to avoid becoming the subject of these torture porns is to behave like an unlikeable jackass, a skill that the formerly loveable Patrick Star has mastered.
Mark: I had to watch another new Spongebob ratings trap with my little brother yesterday.
Ben: How was it?
Mark: It was crap. Just another half-assed Squidward Torture Porn
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1.) "Whoops, just walked in on some dude giving Squidward the business".
2.) "Give me a few minutes. Just gotta finish giving Squidward the business".
3.) "She left me blueballed so I had to give Squidward the business"
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When you put your balls on another's face and penis down their nose. Simulating squidward, from spongebob.
Me and Sally did the squidward sex position last night.
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A guy that looks like he put a dick on his face and he ugly af
U lil squidward lookin ass
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Great place for the boys and fellers to fuck around in and stuff.
Me: Wanna go to fucking Squidward's Tiki Land
You: Sure!
February 15th. The day on Spongebob's calendar marked as "Annoy Squidward day."
"Squidward, guess what day it is?""Annoy Squidward day""No that's next week, today is February 11th."
The complete opposite of Living like Larry. Living like squidward implies being boring to the bone.
They don't appreciate tossing a shopping cart in someone else's pool, they are just too much living like squidward.