rewards card

a credit-card sized piece of plastic that is inherently worthless. almost all companies in existence have these rewards cards. they are designed to build customer loyalty, but actually only build customer frustration.

employee: "do you have your rewards card?"
customer: "i don't have a rewards card."
employee: "let's get you signed up!"
customer: "what will it get me?"
employee: "it's a great program."
customer: "but what will it get me?"
employee: "um... it's a great program..."
customer: "i know, you said that. what will the rewards card get me?"
employee: "nothing, really, but my boss makes me ask..."
customer: "..."

12👍 1👎

Extreme Card

A legendary card alotted to someone who has done something amazingly extreme and lived, preferably unscathed, to tell the tale over and over again. Card allows carrier to: speed without the worry of being chased or even seen by cops, become disengaged from the laws of physics, unchallenged dibsing, etc. Carrier is not allowed to show any non card holder his card or it will be rebuked.

Jrex: "How can we be going sixty-five in a thirty without any cops coming after us?"
Me: "Dude. Extreme card?"
Jrex: "Oh..right."

27👍 5👎

Wild Card

1) A card that can used as any card in a game of poker.

2) A person who is surprisingly good at everything.

3) A person who doesn't have a defined set of characteristics and has a random set of talents/skills. This person is often very unpredictable.

1) If dealer calls aces as the wild card, 1,2,Ace,4,5 would be a straight.

2) Brian: hey Daniel how did your game go?
Daniel: Good I threw 40 yard pass with 10 seconds on the clock to win the game.
Brian: what you doing now?
Daniel: studying for my calculus test I don't want to loose my 4.0 gpa.

3) John: I can fix the car.
Joe: Really? I always thought you were just a smelly hippie burnout.
John: No, I don't even smoke weed and I hate hippies.
Joe: But.. your wearing a tie dye shirt and you have dreadlocks ....

168👍 49👎

Rape Card

When a woman has consensual sex with a man and regrets it the next morning. So instead of owning up to her mistake and claiming responsibility she claims to have been raped. This negates any responsibility on her part and any attempt at insinuating the innocence of the man is considered misogyny/victim-blaming.

Jill had sex with Jack, despite being in a relationship with Steve, last night. She knew Steve would dump her and her friends would give her grief for it when they found out so she played the Rape Card and told everyone that Jack raped her. Everyone hugged her and told her how much they loved her and were there for her. Meanwhile Jack had to drop out after being ostracized on campus and is now facing criminal charges because everyone thinks he's a rapist.

But whatever at least no one thinks Jill is a slut!

48👍 11👎

b-card

the butthole equivalent of a "V-card"; a symbol of one's burginity

1) hell yeah, I'm still a B-card carrying member

2) I lost everything including my B-card in last night's poker game

24👍 5👎

autism card

A card that can be pulled like the race card but is for autistic people to defend him/herself. Sometimes, non-autistic people lie on the internet claiming they're autistic to get away with certain things, even though acting like one does not make one cool.

Person 1: This video is shit! Can't you even do better?
Person 2: I have autism, you know
Person 1, thinking: Fuck, he pulled the autism card

17👍 3👎

House of cards

A song by BTS, a popular K-pop group. It's about the fragile career K-pop idols have and how it can easily tumble.

Have u heard house of cards?!? It's sooo good

88👍 24👎