Crusty Beard

Sexual act where the woman defecates on the man's mouth, smears the faeces around it creating a "beard" (or smears it on an existing beard) then sprinkles 100's and 1000's on it and licks it off.

Last night Helen gave me a crusty beard! Fuckin hell, that was twisted!

Bernanke's beard

An immaculately trimmed shield of tangled facts and misleading information designed to effectively disguise an unpopular truth.

We're going to have to comb Bernanke's beard to find out what really happened.

trouser beard

mass pubic hair round the cock,taking on the apperence of a unkempt beard

must get my trouser beard trimmed

Goat’s Beard

A Fu Manchu for your gooch; can be an erogenous zone for some.

My girlfriend loves it when I grab her by the goat’s beard and swing her around the bedroom.

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lazy beard

When someone lets his beard grow because he is too lazy to shave it he grows lazy beard.

Woman: "Why are you growing beard? It doesn't look good at all."
Man: "Yeah I know but it's lazy beard."
Woman: "Oh, then it's okay!"

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Beard Trustworthiness

Beard Trustworthiness is used to determine how trustworthy a particular beard/mustache is.

~~~Very Trustworthy~~~
Full Beard
The Philosopher
Goatee + Mustache

~~~Mildly Trustworthy~~~
Full Mustache aka The Wilford Brimley
Cop Mustache aka The Burt Reynolds
Chin Strap aka The Abe, The Lincoln

~~~Neutral~~~
Sideburns
Friendly Chops
Chin Tuft + Mustache aka The Colonel Sanders
Mutton Chops

~~~Questionable~~~
Sans Mustache aka Amish Beard
Curly Mustache aka The Handlebar
Goatee

~~~Threatening~~~
The Horseshoe aka The Hogan
Chin Tuft
Unkempt Beard aka The Homeless Beard
Neck Beard

~~~Dangerous~~~
Soul Patch aka The Landing Strip
Patchy Beard aka The Sidney Crosby
Pencil Thin Chin Strap

~~~Disastrous~~~
Werewolf
Pencil Thin Mustache aka The John Waters, The Joe Jackson
The Hitler

L: How do you know you can trust that guy?

E: Dude he has a philosopher's beard, thats the second most trustworthiness beard on the Beard Trustworthiness chart that there is!

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Bearded Barley

Barley is a wheat-like plant which is very common for its uses as a cereal. There is a Pearled Barley too, which is another variation of the same plant or the refined barley. "Bearded barley" may be just a mistake in the transcription of the lyrics in the song "Kiss me" by Sixpence none the richer from Pearled to Bearded barley, yet if it is indeed Bearded Barley it refers to a wheat-like plant which has overgrown and its ready for harvest, allowing a couple to take some comfort behind the bush.

-They went to kiss behind the bearded barley in the garden of the old manor.
-My barley is bearded! i should harvest soon

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