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n. a true fuck-up in the execution of something that should be exceedingly simple resulting in something less than expected
-I hear Survivor is being made into a movie, finally.
-Yeah, but Palahniuk is having nothing to do with it.
-Oh, that's a bad handjob waiting to happen.
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A handjob given without the aid of lubricant, as one might expect when trading a hobo crack for sexual stimulation.
"We were trying to keep it quiet, so she just gave me a hobo handjob. My dick's still chaffed!"
"Hold it, bitch! Are you trying to start a fucking fire with that Hobo Handjob??"?
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Like netflix and chill, and amazon and anal but with more sexual activity.
Sharkisha: Wanna come over for netflix and chill tonight?
Quan: Nah..
Skarkisha: How bout some Amazon and Anal?
Quan : No sorry
Skarkisha: Fine maybe some hulu and handjobs?
Quan: Yes of course!
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When you shake someones hand and while you shake their hand you pull them in and touch their hand to your groin area. then you yell surprise handjob! and talk about how gay he is for touching your junk
"dude, i just totally surprise handjobed josh, he is so gay now"
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When a sexual transaction between hand and penis leaves vigorous pain along the shaft usually preformed by an African American woman
Man one : hey bro why your dick red
Man two: Monkey handjob
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When a man receives an abundance of praise from one person regarding his talents, looks or accomplishments. Usually the compliments are distributed in a nearly excessive amount and received within only a few minutes of conversation, enough to satisfy the receiver in such a way that it is analogous to the stimulation of an orgasm, but for the ego.
I was in a meeting when Sandra started giving me quite the ego handjob. She went on and on about my contribution being valuable to the company and how I was the most talented person there.
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The office handjob is the person in the office that you would feel comfortable only giving the most simplistic, almost brainless task, something that is very hard to screw up. This is not the same person as the office bj, which requires some skills and certainly a different comfort level with who can handle such a task. The handjob task , after all is really something you could do yourself, just fine, and actually often do, but it is always better when someone else does it. Right?
Jackson to Murphy: Dude, Kurt finally got me that Mitchell report and now the boss wants 200 copies of it. Fuck that shit, I'm not an admin.
Murphy: Give it to the office handjob, Kurt's buddy Alex, he'll take care of it for you.
Jackson: ah, good thinking. He did a job for me last month.
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