spanking the monkey

Taking things in to your own hand or a hand trusted by you.

I woke up last night and found my monkey standing up. I spanked him and he went back to sleep.

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dry spank

Masturbation without the aid of lubrication. Can be done anytime, anywhere.

If yer a man with a hand, and it can reach yer schlong, yer never far from
a good ol' dry spank

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Spank Fort

Any place where the teen or preteen boy hides away from parents or family members for the purpose of waxing the dolphin, spanking the monkey, flogging the bishop, wacking off, or masturbating.

Nobody could find little Derek after supper time, he slipped off to his spank fort to wack off to the new girl on the block.

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Spank factor

Amount of sexual content in a t.v. show, movie, magazines or any media and how it relates to influencing or causing the urge to "jack off" (masturbate).

Basic Instinct 2 was a pretty bad movie despite the high Spank factor.
I'm not going to listen to a Christine Aguilera C.D., but the booklet has a high Spank factor.

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spank bait

An image or message that is meant to inspire the desire to masturbate. i.e. similar to a thirst trap, but with specific intent to initiate masturbation.

She keeps posting selfies with a ton of cleavage, if that's not spank bait... I don't know what is.

spank shadow

A shadow of a person masturbating.

I could see your spank shadow from outside on those thin curtains.

Townshend Spank

When one is provied with one of those irresistible opportunities to render a spank to someone's behind, and, instead of going for the standard slap, one instead assumes a rock 'n roll stance (feet at least shoulder width apart, shoulders loose), makes an air guitar (with the neck and headstock pointing toward the waiting booty) and in classic Pete Townshend style, performes a windmill manuver culminating in a handful of ass. Shouting YEEEEAAAHHH afterwards is appropriate at one's own discretion.

Cute Girl is bending over, selecting a DVD from the shelf.

Her Boyfriend approaches and assumes a rock 'n roll stance, air guitar at ther ready and says to his Bro, "Dude say Townshend Spank."

Bro replies, "Townshend Spank?"

Boyfriend executes wicked windmill and connects!

Cute Girl is equal parts appaled and impressed.