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A person who pulls a huge douchebag move at the expense of another person, landing him the title, "Douche of the Year"
-Dude, did you hear that James totally painted a penis on Chad's car?
-Yeah, he's definitely winning Douche of the Year
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when a person becomes such a douche, they expand to the size of a Macy's float, and explode into Douche Sauce.
Man, Tommy is such a Douche Balloon
Chris had a great explosion the other night, too bad it's because he's a douche balloon
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When a person wears a tight ass T-shirt which contains either a dragon, flaming phoenix, a crown, any flashy gold print or all/any combination of these options on your t-shirt.
If your friend is wearing something like this then he is officially a Douche Bag.
Hey babe look at all those Douche bags doing the fist pump with each other.
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A tool ideal for dirty pussies.
Other tools (or douche bags) for dirty pussies:
Talentless guys who sing and play guitar to bag dumb women. Magicians.
Most guys on MTV reality shows.
All the guys on the Jersey Shore.
Guys that brag about their cars, pre-med, or pre-law.
Musclemen that insist on showing their muscles off.
etc.
Person 1: "Did you hear Mike butcher that song while he flexed his muscles, trying to impress that skank?"
Person 2: "Even without the spray on tan and hard spiked hair, he's still a Royal Douche Bag".
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Reporter: It was announced worldwide today that Kanye West will now be a synonym for the word Douche Bag because no other word describes him quite so exquisitely. He was a Douche to begin with but the Bag part was added when he made a complete twat out of himself by being a dick to Taylor Swift. Fuck you Kanye you total Douche Bag!
*Screams insanely in to camera*
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Often, calling someone a douche doesn't seem to be enough to represent their level of douche-baggery, thus the douche scale was invented, so as to quantify one's doucheness. Depending on the area you live in , different things are equivalent to different values on the scale. A basic, point system is used (see example). Usually one is marked on their doucheness out of 100. Keep in mind that those are just guidelines as to point distribution.
EXAMPLE DOUCHE SCALE
Clothing (20 points):
- Popped collar in back but not on sides = 5 douche point
- Popped collar everywhere = 10 douche points
- Polo shirt of an arguably flamboyant color (usually from hollister or a company synonmous with it) = 10 douche points
Behaviour (60 points):
- Talking loud enough so everyone in a 50 foot radius can hear you = 10 douche points
- Talking about oneself chronically = 10 douche points
- Pretending to be a different ethnicity (e.g. wiggers) = 20 douche points
- General douche-baggery(you can choose what this may consist of) = 20 points
Physical Appearance:
- Gelled hair = 10 douche points
- Excessive facial hair = 10 douche points
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A douche donkey is someone who is anal retentive. It is also another term for anal douche. This stems from the nickname the donkey has as being an ass.
Don't be a douche donkey! or I have to go buy a douche donkey.
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