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my mom is dead

It can be something said after a "your mom" joke, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.
And it hurts more when your friend thinks that your just trying to make a comeback, and keeps going...

Jeff: Does your mom want her underwear washed with bleach or without?

Carl: My mom is dead.

Jeff: Should I wash the body, too?

Carl: *beats the shit out of Jeff*

by Lolwhat? March 11, 2011

151๐Ÿ‘ 29๐Ÿ‘Ž


Dead Parrot Defense

When a lie or excuses is so blatantly ridiculous and unbelievable, the defendant has no choice but to stick to his/her absurd defense, disregarding all possible logic/laws of physics/obvious contradictions. Taken from the Monty Python dead parrot sketch in which a shop owner insists a clearly dead parrot is alive.

Tim got caught cheating on his girlfriend, but stuck to a dead parrot defense of she was an out of work actress and he was helping her with simulated sex scenes

by ArfNarfBarf August 5, 2010


dead phone routine

A person's excuse that they flaked out on an agreed-upon meeting or date with you because their phone was not working, not paid, or not charged. These excuses are often belied by the fact that a call to the user results in a normal dial tone, rather than going straight to voicemail.

The dead phone routine usually goes something like this:

1. "Sorry, I got stuck downtown and my phone died."
2. "Hey I just got my phone back up I had to pay it first."

by Moggraider April 29, 2014


The Dead Muskrat Clan

The DMC for short. The Dead Muskrat Clan is a secret lifestyle dedicated to worshipping dead muskrats that have been shot twice in the head with a twelve-gauge shotgun. They sit on tree stumps and offer prayers as they give sacrificial offerings. These offerings, however, have to be red and also bloody.

OMG ITS THE DEAD MUSKRAT CLAN

TEDDY ALTMAN: OMG STAY AWAY FROM THEM FREAKS
SHUT UP TEDDY ALTMAN YOU ARE HORSE DUNG
OMG ITS A DEAD MUSKRAT WHO WAS SHOT TWICE IN THE HEAD WITH A TWELVE-GAUGE SHOTGUN!!!

by Teddyaltmanisbad101 February 21, 2021


dead space 2

A survival horror video game. The game features an extremely easy starting area that only one person has failed to complete. See zotted

We all laughed when zot failed to get out of the starting area of Dead Space 2.

by Hurr_Walnuts June 28, 2011

27๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


two dead hookers

If you see this you know the joke.

Two dead hookers wash up on the shore and the cops find out the hookers have more crabs than the shore.

by Big Daddy Akram January 10, 2018

156๐Ÿ‘ 30๐Ÿ‘Ž


dead end evolution

homosexuality

Those who choose Homosexuality for themselves cannot procreate: two men cannot create a child, two women cannot create a child. Sexually abusing others into homosexuality is not sexual reproduction. As dead end evolution queers' poor moral choices are on the rise. Protect your children!

by Nature Abhors Homosexuality June 11, 2013

62๐Ÿ‘ 14๐Ÿ‘Ž