child-in-law

Child's spouse.

child-in-law.

Child play

When you role-play your children during sex with your spouse

"We love to dress up as clowns and fuck each other's brain out while laughing hysterically. What kinda stuff are you guys into?"
"We're really into child play. We have eight children so it never gets old."

child boil

the act of boiling a child

we ran out of food so we had to child boil

National treat your child day

A day to Treat your child with gifts

Me: Mum, you know what day it is..
Mum: What is it?
Me: It’s National treat your child day!
Mum: Really? Okay, hop in the car!
Me: Yay!

Starter-Child

When a couple buys a pet dog together.

Adam and Sarah just bought the cutest starter-child from the dog shelter.

money child

Young person around the age of 13-20 who is all about the money and nothing else

Alisa: Did they fire darrel from work?
George: Yeah but don’t worry about him he’s a “money child”

No Child Left Behind

In very, VERY simple terms: "Schools cannot hold kids back for performing poorly."

The result: Take it from a random Reddit user - "There are kids in my college with a Kindergarten reading level."

Basically, every kid will always advance to the next grade, even if they perform so badly that they should very well actually be pushed BACK a grade.

"No Child Left Behind" is why kids today are fucking retarded