Random
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Random
When you sneeze into someone's balls.
Achoo! Oh no...I just gave you a sneeze job
3👍 1👎
when due to the poor performance of a woman, a man receiving a blow job proceeds to finish himself off and returns the favor by zombie masking her
Tommy surprised her with an alicia job when he was dissatisfied with her performance.
65👍 76👎
A deathcore/death metal band out of Glendale Arizona, which slowly gained popularity due to their "girl scream" in their most popular, and slightly overrated song titled: "Entombment of a Machine". Thousands upon thousands of "hardcore kids" made it a priority to obtain their merchandise, and as the band began to seem like sellouts, Jonny Davy, vocalist and founder of the band mouthed off to Hot Topic saying, "Job For A Cowboy is too hardcore for Hot Topic". Almost instantly Hot Topic removed any and all merch the band had given to them to sell. The band now hides behind Jonny Davy's problems, and many harsh labels, playing guitar that is tuned too low for anyone to possibly transcribe. Acceptional guitar playing is unseen, and their drummer Jon Rice's tallents, although godly, remain unnoticed.
JFAC fan #1: "Too bad Jonny Davy had to run his mouth. Now its almost impossible to find anything with a Job For A Cowboy logo on it!"
JFAC fan #2: "I know! Their shirt designs were so cool too!"
44👍 50👎
Well, let me tell you a story about this girl named Carrie
When the question was asked, she became a little wary
Alarmed that she may be inhibited, it became my duty
To inform of the intense pleasure found in everyone’s booty
I said Ohhh girl, you don’t have to be shy
Use your left index finger gently and you won’t hear any cries
But before you do so, you may want to make sure everything is just right
Cause that little ole balloon knot can get a little tight
So when you think things are getting umm a bit boring
Take your tongue girl and let’s go back door exploring
Now it’s not like a button, for which some can be hard to find
All you have to do is lift those legs up and expose that cheeky behind
Oh and I almost forgot to mention make sure things are clean and neat
Tell them to jump in the shower and do a little finger sweep
So see Carrie, all your worries are now left behind
Let’s go crazy and give a rim job a try!!
145👍 185👎
When you and one of your bros get 2 ladies and get blow jobs in such a position that you can play patty cake with your bro.
"yo me and Jamie got awesome bro jobs from Jenny and Danielle but we stopped early cuz Jamie cums so fast
113👍 144👎
A common excuse used almost exclusively by the female gender to prevent from having to perform oral sex on their male partner by convincing said partner that his penis is too immense to comfortably fit in her mouth during oral sex, resulting in nearly as much pleasure to the recipient as an actual orgasm due to massive inflation of their ego.
1. Hey man, did that chick you are dating finally start sucking your cock. Oh, she tried but my dick is way too big!
2. (Girl 1) I really like this new guy that I'm dating but he keeps trying to get me to suck his dick. (Girl 2) All you have to do is tell him that his dick is to big. Trust me he'll love it. I'm a snow job master!
11👍 10👎
a sexy job done on juicy hemorrhoids at the peak of their ripeness, usually with the mouth, with or without teeth. Professional hem-jobbers can balance the task of sucking without bursting the hemorrhoid, while the inexperienced unluckily end up with mouths full of blood and feces.
After Forrest finished giving his first hem job, he looked like he had a mouth full of chocolate cherries. What an assbag.
11👍 9👎