Someone who's your good friend/best friend on the phone, but can't be bothered meeting up face to face to chill or have tea/coffee together.
Pretty much anyone, anyone that's a good friend on the phone, but cbf/is not interested in catching up face to face.
George: Hey Mike, I spoke to Tony on the phone, he often sounds like a good friend, but yet either can't be bothered catching up or else keeps lying to me that we'll catch up face to face?
Mike: Dude, that's a "phone captain".
George: What's a phone captain?
Mike: Like "keyboard warrior", except much nicer of course!
Noun: A term for one who is wearing a zip-down hoodie with the zip open completely by only the hood on their head (very often notably with no shirt), leaving the arm flaps and the rest of the hoodie to hang behind them as pseudo tribal decoration. Often associated with individuals in this attire performing wildcard stunts and impromptu executive decisions
Verb: To assume the form as described in the noun and perform crackhead and crackhead-esque actions with urgency
Never get in a swamp fight with a captain crackhead - noun
If you don't give me my 25 cents back as a quarter I will captain crackhead this elf on the shelf - verb
This is when a person introduces a conversational topic with others only to have a conversational pirate hijack the topic leaving the person marooned on a conversational island. Smoke signaled by, "What were we talking about?" "How did we get on this topic?" or "Oh..." if they even remember said person was talking.
Amy: I really love that song by...
Owen: I was in choir in College. I think we sang that song!
Blake: Bro, I didn't know you could sing? *sarcasm* Do you ever stop?
Owen: Did I tell you about my solo senior year? It was cray.
Amy was Captain Jacked.
A tiff, someone who is always sits in the zen position
Stop being such a El captain penis wrinkle
A tiffani homentowski, someone who is always sits in the zen position
Stop being such a El captain penis wrinkle
When you’ve eaten so much ass they you claim the deserve the mantle of the booty captain
You are the jack sparrow of eating ass, you are the booty captain