Turtle poaching

When you punch someone who has a small penis in the dick making there head shrivel like a turtle.

Payton: i got turtle poached by some guy yesterday
thomas: omg is yo dick okay i hate turtle poaching

Laundry turtle

Noun. When you fill a laundry basket way over the top, then drape a towel over the pile and tuck it into the sides of the basket so nothing will fall out while carrying. The result resembles a turtle shell, and sometimes it will have little 'legs' of laundry items sticking out of holes in the basket.

I waited too long to do laundry, now im definitely gonna have to make a laundry turtle

Snapping turtle

Sex position, involves having sex with only the protruding head of a turtle (usually of the snapping variety). Bonus points if the shell vibrates.

Abby: Dude why are you bleeding like that

Kate: I tried the snapping turtle at the lake and it didn’t go well

Snapping Turtle

A clamp or clip tightened around the testicles.

Mike: No way! John has a Snapping Turtle!
John: What the fuck is that?

turtle choker

A plastic straw

Her: Ugh... you're using a turtle choker?!
Me: Yeah, thot

turtle farmer

a turtle farmer is a racial slur toward any islander but mainly fijians

stop being such a stupid turtle farmer

Turtle Machine

A machine that displays or creates turtles, see computer

"Hey man, have you seen that new turtle pic?"
"Not yet, haven't been on the Turtle Machine all day"

"Did you know some turtles are brown?"
"You're wrong, I asked the Turtle Machine and the brown ones are called "tortoise"
"Turtle Machine broke"