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An epidemic worse than small pox, H1N1, The Black Plauge, and Charlie Sheen. Symptons: checking Facebook like twice an hour or more, wanting to suddenly and generally at the most random moments, get on Facebook to see if Kyle XY excepted your friend request, getting awful urges in your sleep to play FarmVille and tend to your virtual Cactus on CactusWorld.
Treatments: watch the Facebook song by some British dude, realize it's true, delete your Facebook, check into a nunnery where thet don't have the internet.
I hope this helps. And please remember that you are not alone. Rehab isn't just for alcoholics, druggies, and sex addicts, it's also for Facebook Fever.
Disclamer: If this offended anyone due to it's truth,please just ignore it and get on with your life. Charlie Sheen is great and it sounded funny up there if that offends anyone. Rehab and Nuns are good things and I do not personally hate either, again it was just because it sounded funny and fit. Thanks for reading!
Girl:Oh My Gosh! It's been nearly 3 seconds and no one has messaged, poked, or thrown a sheep at me! I'm so unpopular now!
Person with Girl: Dear Lord. Girl, JUST SHUT UP YOU NEED HELP YOU'RE INFECTED WITH FACEBOOK FEVER!
Boy: Oooh, the fake Ashley Tisdale, and slightly trashy and 100% fake Vannesa Hudgins friended me!
Boy's Mom:Hun, we can get play dates or whatever you 40 year olds do on Saturday nights. You don't need this Facebook crap anymore.
Boy:...
Doctor: Ma'am, she is infected. With. Facebook. Fever.
Mom:*in tears* What do I do?
Doctor:Delete the account, make her go to therapy, and grab the Robatusin. It fixes everything. EVERYTHING!
11👍 7👎
Someone who looks at people's pictures and wall posts even if they have never talked to them before in their life.
If they really have no life, they post comments on photos that say things like "hoottt" or "ur so sexxayy"
It's stalking for the online generation.
Andy: Oh my god my sister's friend's are hotttt!
Becky: Ew Facebook Creeper.
62👍 61👎
An individual whose Facebook statuses are often chiched quotes such as "when in doubt, just take the next small step", "make peace with the past so it doesn't screw up the present", or "sometimes its hard to understand, but time tells truth." These give the impression that said Facebook user is wise, when in fact they are merely putting on airs.
A: "Wow, Jeff is pretty deep!"
B: "Nah, he's just a Facebook Philosopher"
3370👍 4163👎
Mostly 60 year old males looking for a friend
"Facebook friend" - I think we should have fun sometime, where do you live
Average Facebooker - I live at *********** ****, *** ****.
14👍 10👎
Anthony Weiner engaged in Facebook Foreplay by sending sexual messages to numerous consenting adult women throughout the United States. As of June 16, 2011, all but one of Weiner's known sext partners were over the age of 18. His actions and subsequent cover-up ultimately led him to resign his seat in the U.S. House of Representatives.
23👍 20👎
the act of jazzing on someone's facebook profile
i gave her a meat shank and a facebook facial
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1) Someone who insists on changing there Facebook Status every 5 minutes to alert the world to whatever mundane task they happen to be doing at the time.
2) someone who insists on posting on everyones wall just so they get replies on there own wall to make them look more popular.
"geeze.. why has she got so many comments on her wall"
"shes a Facebook Whore, she just wants to be popular"
"pfft.. thats pathetic"
16👍 11👎