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because jesus

Used (usually sarcastically) to "explain" why homosexuality/LGBT/abortion/marijuana/brown people/citizens of countries other than the US/what have you is "bad".

Imaginary interviewer to Pat Robertson: "Why are you so opposed to the rapidly expanding normalization of non-traditional sex roles?"
Robertson: "Because Jesus."

by TheThroat October 4, 2017

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Golden Jesus

A street name for heroin.

Got some golden jesus?

by DanielU3284 April 6, 2008

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus Padilla

Jesus Padilla is an amazing friend. You can always count on Jesus, he is very understanding, he will help you or anyone in anything, he will always be there for you at anytime, he has a great heart, he is very hilarious too. When you meet Jesus you will love him forever. He has a badass,hot, and amazing voice. Jesus is a really fun person you will never get bored of. Jesus will make your mornings, evenings, and nights, the whole day. He is sweet and will make you feel very comfortable when you talk him. Jesus is also short, not that short though. He will always keep a smile in your face. Jesus is just the perfect friend to have. Jesus is also very handsome and very intelligent. If you know Jesus Padilla you should be very thankful to have him. Jesus Padilla is the definition of respect, intelligence, courageous, hilarious, sweet, and handsome.

Girl 1: guess what??

Girl 2: what??

Girl 1: Their is this guy I have been talkin for a big while and he is a great friend. You should meet him.

Girl2: what's his name??

Girl1: Jesus Padilla

by kimHOMIE555 December 21, 2013

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus envy

A nonbeliever who wishes they did believe in Christianity and Jesus Christ. A nonbeliever who appreciates and envies religious people and religious culture.

I'm an atheist, but whenever I walk by a church I get serious Jesus envy.

by Jackson Montana December 12, 2010

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus Christ

My nigga

Brian: My crew is big and it keeps getting bigga, that's cause Jesus Christ is my nigga

by grease_of_sandwich February 21, 2020

3๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus Christ

it's jason bourne

Jesus Christ, it's jason bourne

by IR2BMLGX420BLAZEIT February 10, 2018

3๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus Christ

A lame guy who is against LGBT but at the same time he has strong gay tendencies
He thinks he has no physical father

Because his mother is sadly a prostitute for bad conditions of miserable life

Jesus Christ: Hey i wanna be a messiah who is my father btw
Mary: I dont remember that day probably i am raper by a group but once i was a virgin because i serve anal and oral intercourse to my customers. Where is my birth control pills?

by Butt Hair of Gerald Witcher October 4, 2023

3๐Ÿ‘ 12๐Ÿ‘Ž