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Literary Abortion

A piece of writing that is such a failure, it is worse than an abortion.

"So I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me?"

"What are you going to watch? I hope it's not Twilight."

"Dip me in shit and call me Susan, how could you have ever guessed?"

"Well, Twilight is number one in the box office, so its sells went up a lot. The only reason I don't want to watch it is because it was based on the book, which was a literary abortion."

by divineallbeing January 31, 2012


thought abortion

When you start to say something and you stop partially through the thought and you completely forget what you were thinking. The thought is terminated before it is finished.

Kendra: I have a great idea for what we should do tonight!
Jenna: Awesome! What is it?
Kendra: We should get in the car and go downtown to go and.....
Jenna: And what?..
Kendra: I can't remember, it just completely left my mind.
Jenna: Oh, you must have had a thought abortion.

by kingjay4 May 22, 2014


Premature Abortion

Premature Abortion is unique in the sense that only a man can have one. Premature Abortion happens when a sperm, or many sperm, fail to unionize with a human egg inside a female. This often happens when a female is not present. In most cases, a premature abortion ends up in some sort of Kleenex and gets throw into a garbage receptacle. Commonly, a premature abortion will get washed down the shower drain or disposed of orally by a willing participant. Premature abortions can happen just about anywhere and get aborted on just about any surface imaginable. They can even happen involuntarily while you sleep. There has been research on these nocturnal abortions, but they are still in the preliminary stages.

Douche bag #1 - "I know this chick that will let you have a premature abortion right on her face!"
Douche bag #2 - "Shit! The only action I get is when I have a nocturnal abortion and have to change my underwear upon waking up."

by SmokeTwibz January 23, 2018


Grenade Abortion

The action of pulling the pin on a grenade and sticking it up a girl's cooch, especially if she's pregnant, thereby aborting the baby (and her, but that's besides the point).

"Yo did you hear about Stacy? I heard she got a grenade abortion."
"Bullshit, who would knock her up in the first place?"

by SurrealArt April 17, 2016


drain abortion

to use a wire hanger to clear a clogged drain

My girlfriend's hair clogged the bathroom sink again. I couldn't afford a plumber, so I performed a drain abortion.

by kenandrick December 28, 2015


Chopstick Abortion

A coat hanger abortion, but in Asia.

My friend Nathan went to Asia to get a chopstick abortion.

by RobotxNathan4life March 1, 2019

1👍 1👎


Florida Abortion

Giving birth directly into the mouth of an alligator

Florida abortion:

Jack and his wife were in the Orlando area, so they stopped by the Everglades to get rid of Jack Jr. on the way back from the bar

by Nutbuster2 January 29, 2018