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Free Lancing

Going full on retard

Bryan was free Lancing when he misspelled half the words in the email he sent his boss.

by The Real Bossman May 17, 2018


Lance

Lance is a faggott who is kind of chubby and always lets girls sit on his lap when he likes someone else. He is very disloyal and he disrespects women, lance might have a vagina.

Karli: Did you let Callie sit on your lap last night?
Lance: umm, maybe, I’m so sry I had a massive orgasm
Karli: fuck you

by I live penis December 23, 2018

1πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


The devil's lance

When a male decides to give a particular lady very happy. He first gets an erection, but then things get really crazy. He takes a hot liquid, ex. hot coffee, and pours it onto his fully erect member. The coffee causes the penis to swell to gargantuan size and turn red, thus appearing as the penis of the devil himself. The female should almost instantly want to fuck her man because it is quite a sacrifice on his part, as it is quite painful. The proceed to have sexual intercourse, and the lady is particularly pleased.

Topher wanted to give his girlfriend a treat for her birthday, so he made a pot of coffee and performed the devil's lance.

by Topher4life November 9, 2009

10πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


Lance Armstrong

A great but overrated cyclist. Seven Time winner of the Tour De France. Often called the greatest cyclist ever by passive American cycling fans that have never heard of Eddy Merckx, Bernard Hinault, Fausto Coppi or Miguel Indurain. Merckx and many others went on to race in hundreds of races while Armstrong focused on the Tour. His only other races were often training for the Tour at Tour de Georgia or DauphinΓ© LibΓ©rΓ©. Merckx raced every race to win. Lance often was just training for the tour and along with his contemporaries would not take the risk seen in the Coppi-Merckx Era.

LA Fan: Lance Armstrong is the greatest cyclist ever!

Reality: No way dude. Eddy Merckx or Coppi.

LA fan. Who? you're crazy!

Facts: Merckx! Cycling was around before 1999. Merckx won 525 races and won the Giro D' Italia and Tour de France five times. Lance only talked about racing the Giro. Never even showed and has never ridden in most of the Classics like Paris-Roubaix which Merckx won three times. Also never attempted the Hour Record as he hinted on for years. A record for which Merckx is the standard.

LA fan: But Lance won the Tour De Georgia.

Reality: Dumbass!

by Paris-Roubaix January 28, 2008

279πŸ‘ 188πŸ‘Ž


Lance Hardwood

Mentioned in the television series How I Met Your Mother by Ted. Lance Hardwood is an everyday name that parents may choose to abandon their baby to an orphanage and leave a note saying that their name is Lance Hardwood, therefore ruining said child's life for ever and ever. This has been done time and time again with other names such as; Mike Clitoris, Hugh Jass, Mike Hock, Yurik Hunt. Spelling may vary. "On an completely unrelated note, all names mentioned above are often used by pornstar."

"Hey man did you see Lance Hardwood last night?"
"The pornstar???"
"Naw man, Lance Hardwood the reported."

by Jacques Lolz January 11, 2010

29πŸ‘ 14πŸ‘Ž


lance bass

A member from nysnc that always looks a little to happy. Made a big deal about going to space but in the end pulled out because sponsors didn't want to send more airless matter into space.

Sponsor- "We should of sent Lance to space because there is a good chance he might get sucked up by a black hole."

by jlau July 12, 2005

75πŸ‘ 44πŸ‘Ž


lance the destroyer

A person who does a mass amount of destruction or damage

Terrorists are lance the destroyers.
Man look at that white boy named kendall. Hes a lace the destroya nigggggaaa.

by FLYING NIGGERS September 29, 2009

5πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž