Decagrative Therapy

A one-of-a-kind 10-faceted holistic approach that emphasizes and treats the whole person, mind, body and spirit. The ten modalities, when applied in concert, interrelate and link together to offer the individual the tools for a balanced and cohesive life.

Decagrative therapy is the most effective therapeutic system when it comes to treating addictions and traumas.

Bite Therapy

Biting someone when they are continually complaining of something, particularly a pain. Closely related to Punch Therapy.

Rob, lying next to Sophie: My leg is hurting so much from when I tripped over yesterday.
Rob: OUCH! Why did you bite me?
Sophie: Just applying some Bite Therapy... made you forget that damn leg you keep whining about!

carport therapy

Dealing with the stress and anxiety of life by sitting under your carport (or garage) and drinking as many beers as you can. Particularly popular in the South.

"I'll tell you what, man... Life ain't easy. The wife won't give me a break, I got laid off, my kids are out of control... What I need is some carport therapy."

meat therapy

When you need to get laid

I'm so horny, I need some meat therapy

therapy 13

Therapy 13 is the best payola groupchat on twitter for Taylor Swift stans! They will be attending Taylor’s next tour together and possibly a secret session as well!

Twitter User 1: Who are these idiots asking if someone got kidnapped because they went inactive for like 5 hours?
Twitter User 2: Oh, that has to be Therapy 13! They’re always tweeting about the most random stuff.

talk therapy

A place where you go to lean in a couch or (even worse) lie flat on a surface, allowing your spine to drift into dissociation while babbling on and on about the same trauma patterns recurring via different manifestations in your life every week so that you get that momentary release only to be sucked back into the patterns the next week all in service of being a line item of $250 per hour in the revenue charts of the Western Medicine business model that wants your patterns to continue so that it could keep minting $$$

I've been feeling very embodied lately and really miss the good old dissociative blabbering days so I booked a talk therapy session to experience that.

Porcelain Therapy

relieving yourself via the toilet after eating too much thus making yourself feel better; most commonly done after eating at a buffet or other all you can eat type situation. i.e. taking a dump

-hey man, i don't feel so good. i think i ate too much at the buffet
-yeah me too, let's go get some porcelain therapy.
-what is that? where can we get it?
-go to take a dump in the bathroom
-oh! i love porcelain therapy!