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Random
sexual favors while driving on the road aka road head
If I ride passenger on a long drive with my boyfriend he insists I give him travel treats.
Similar to a traveling gnome, only instead of taking pictures with the bunny with each destination... the bunny is actually roadkill, dead & stuck the undercarriage of the vehicle.
I captured so many good traveling bunny pics, before I killed that Angora sweater.
A Travel Susan stresses out all the time when traveling and always needs to arrive three hours early to everywhere, then waits at the gate on social media for hours.
Susan (Shouting from the car at 7:30am, bags already packed from three days before): “Hurry up! We’re gonna be late to the airport and miss our flight! There’s rush-hour traffic on the 110!”
You (forgot to pack: your toothbrush, your headphones, and possibly your passport, hungover from going out the night prior): “Quit being such a Travel Susan, our flight leaves at 9:30.”
Once a futuristic fantasy, soon a fairy tale of the magical past.
"Once upon a time, in the olden days, people would get into a metal tube, which would rise up in the sky, and when they got out of it, a little while later, they were in a completely different part of the world."
Yes, sweetheart, it's really true. It was called "air travel". Now, as soon as Daddy closes your door, take off your mask, close your eyes, and have sweet dreams.
This is the space that you have a barista leave at the top of your cup of to-go coffee so that it doesn't slosh on your hand as you walk down the street.
Do you need room for cream with your Americano? No, but I'll take some traveling room.
The filth that you are covered in after traveling via plane with strangers all day long...
I've been flying all day, I fill covered in travel gravy!
If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
Can I offer you two fine gentlemen at this Greyhound Station some travelers dust?