Random
Source Code
Random
Said in response to a statement that is believed to be false. The previous example where the statement is "Do you believe in God?" and the response is "Itchy beard" is wrong simply because a question cannot be false.
Jack: "Mine's ten inches - and that's flaccid"
John: "Itchy beard!"
74👍 11👎
When a man ejaculates on the face of his partner under a black light. The light causes the salty maple syrup to glow while marinating on the victim's face, thus causing the beard shaped puddle to illuminate. Talented bearders can design mustaches and sideburns as well.
Jeb: Hey, how was the rave at 'Club Cage' last night?
Clarence: From what I remember it was a very special time. Karen and I reached a new point in our relationship because there were black lights in the bathroom as well. I convinced her to follow me in so I could finally give her a neon beard.
Jeb: That IS special, congratulations on the milestone, and tell Karen the same. How'd it turn out?
Clarence: I was so backed up that she ended up with a mustache like William Taft's, side-burns like Chester Arthur's, and a raging James Garfield beard.
141👍 24👎
A style of music that combines 70s stoner rock with hard rock and metal guitar riffs and beats, beard metal began its rise to popularity somewhere around 2005 and has only grown thanks to bands like Mastodon, Turbonegro and Valient Thorr. Galloping metal breakdowns and their masterful use of the twin- guitar melodies (ala Thin Lizzy and Iron Maiden) make this genre of music a welcome breath of fresh air for hard rock and metal fans who have watched their beloved music drift into obscurity over the years as rock became a watered-down commodity for record labels in search of the almighty dollar, producing bands like Nickleback and other alternative radio nonsense. Most of these bands have at least one or two members with beards, but a beard is not necessarily required.
Beard Metal bands include: Valient Thorr, Priestess, Mastodon, Turbonegro, High on Fire, Early Man, The Sword, Fu Manchu, Bison, Baroness, Black Cobra.
41👍 5👎
An unintentional beard started over the 4 day Thanksgiving weekend, where you're too lazy to shave it off monday morning. Usually continues until Christmas or New Year's Day.
Also known as a Holiday Beard
Boss: You look like you haven't shaved in days. That's unprofessional.
Employee: Sir, that's my Thanksgiving beard. It's my way of honoring our forefathers.
Boss: Oh, I didn't realize that. Maybe I'll grow one too.
5394👍 1229👎
A beard slap is the slapping of another person with large amounts of concussive force, resulting in the formation of a beard. It is both the worst and best thing you could do for a person.
Person 1: "You are completely wrong I couldn't disagr-"
Person 2: -BEARD SLAP-
Person 1: "...Actually..."
57👍 8👎
The result of a man orally pleasuring a woman. The man ends up with a light film of juice on his face resembling a beard. This beard is usually removable with the swift stroke of the forearm across the face and lips, removing the odorous moisture.
Dude, you and that girl were really going at it last night...Did you hose down your juice beard?
29👍 3👎
seeing someone else with a beard miles more epic than the one you are currently sporting, making you wish you hadn't shaved or wish you had one like it.
Skunk: dude look at that guy's beard, it's huge!
CD: I know i just got severe beard envy
71👍 11👎