Clean House

Literal definition: Cleaning a dirty house/home.

Figurative definition: Getting rid of unwanted baggage in one's life, such as bad "friends" or fake people.

Literal:

"My house is so dirty!"
"Looks like you need to clean house!"

Figurative:

"That girl is such a bad friend and not worth my time."
"Girl, it's time to clean house!!"

41👍 9👎

Clean Escape

Wiping after going pooh and nothing being on the toilet paper.

After I took a dump and only saw one square of toilet paper left I was worried. It was a clean escape so I didn't need anymore.

32👍 7👎

clean snap

This is a term used to describe when going to the toilet and you wipe and there is no feces is present on the toilet paper. The concept is that your feces clean snapped from your rectum without touching the sides.

"Hey Ryan, I just clean snapped!"
"I'm going to the toilet, hopefully I clean snap"

64👍 17👎

clean and jerk

A two part process of showering (clean) and masturbating (jerk). The clean does not necessarily come before the jerk, in fact more times than not the jerk precedes the clean. The engaging party often feels a sense of accomplishment upon completion of the clean and jerk as they have killed two birds with one stone.

Person 1: Hey man you about ready to go?
Person 2: Not yet dude, I'm gonna hop in the shower and clean and jerk before we leave.
Person 1: Well make it a quickie cause we gotta be there in like 20 minutes.

36👍 9👎

Cleaning the church

Slang term used to describe the act of a conservative woman masturbating. Generally associated with lonely and bored housewives of good nature and standing with god.

Mary: "Where's Janice?, I haven't heard from her all day and her Husband has been out of town for a few days."

Delores: "Oh, she's probably cleaning the church since she hasn't made love for a few days"

10👍 1👎

clean the pipes

masturbation to prevent the pipes from clogging, which can lead to the back up of sperm that flows directly to the brain causing awkward sexual advances, undue violence, and masturbation in creative and sometimes inappropriate places.

I should clean the pipes before that date tonight.

For sure! You don't want to be going for the kiss before the bread even gets there.

81👍 24👎

facebook cleaning

The process of deleting "friends" from one's Facebook list.

Brian: I have like 1000 friends

Trent: I hope you're exaggerating...Dude, you need to do some Facebook cleaning

Brian: Truer words have yet to be spoken.

14👍 2👎