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Top Shelf

Excreting one’s fecal matter in such a way that disrupts the olfactory nerves for several days. Originally thought to originate from the 1700’s, recent carbon dating tests reveal top-shelving dates back to the 1400’s. Early techniques of the Top-shelving were in the form of crapping in someone’s sandals and/or robe. Towards the 1800’s the technique evolved, and crapping in one’s wagon, and became the standard practice of implementing a top-shelf. In the 20th Century the top-shelf has taken on a new face. Today’s modern top-shelf are a based upon removing the lid of a toilet and taking a fat deuce in the tank. Typically, the day before completing a top-shelf you want to load up on crabs and fajitas so that your crap will have lethal properties.

1. People that are from California are so used to stinky poopy dicks, that top-shelves are welcomed in non-smoking bars.

2. Hey dood, lets top shelf Demi Moore’s place.

3. Fuck Flushies 2000. A good Top Shelf will kill that rank smell.

by Doc September 29, 2003

30👍 31👎


top shelf

noun.
-anal sex with a woman.

While doing it doggy-style he pulled out his penis and decided to go top shelf.

by mdiaz April 28, 2005

26👍 27👎


Shelf tits

Tits that you could substitute for a shelf! They are full and firm. No sagging on those bitches!

Bro 1: Fuck man, look at those shelf tits!!
Bro 2: What the fuck are shelf tits?!?
Bro 1: They are tits that could act as a shelf dumb ass. You know when your hand accidentally misses their shoulder and instead lands on their tits and it’s like a shelf. Those are shelf tits, big tits that don’t sag.

Bro 2: Oh I get it, I am coining that term now. And dude your hand never accidentally misses their shoulder, your in denial if you think that.
Bro 1: Hey don’t coin my term man it’s mine. And I am happy staying in denial. More shelf tits for me!

by Um…Yeah, I do this for fun! December 1, 2021

3👍 1👎


Top Shelf

Anal sex in the doggy style position.

Before paying for dinner, Jason asked Julie if she goes "top shelf".

by Mcguiness January 21, 2015

3👍 2👎


Top Shelf

Verb - The act of dropping a steaming dump into the water tank of a toilet. It's very important to replace the tank cover and leave the room as if nothing happened. Each future flush will reinvigorate the stench of slowly eroding water tank dump.

Frat Guy 1, "Did you end up fighting those guys at that party last night?"

Frat Guy 2, "Naw, I top shelfed those bastards... they'll be smelling that fudge for weeks!"

by vandyu97 February 19, 2009

18👍 18👎


vagina shelf

The gap that forms between a standing woman's thighs, all the way up to her vagina, when she is anorexic and her pants are tight enough to show it off. So-called because if you turned her upside down, you could place objects on the flat surface directly between her legs, which is also where many women keep their vaginas.

Jesus christ, did you see Cari's vagina shelf? Did her pelvis separate?

by rainman420 April 26, 2005

9👍 7👎


Top Shelf

taking a shit in the top part of a toliet. See upperdecker

Dude lets go I just top shelfed the place.

by Daddy November 12, 2003

34👍 39👎