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Some doctors liken it to a tree trunk. Others to a length of anchor rope. And still others compare it to a barber's pole. Whatever it's true dimensions, Edgar Acuña is stuck with a gigantic penis, and science can't help him.
Diagnosed with Phallumegaly (bigness of penis) at a young age, Edgar Acuña grew up without learning how to ride bike... without being able to play little league (protective cups are too small)... without being able to feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. And it looks as though he'll never be able to enjoy those everyday pleasures.
Recently rejected for yet another risky penis reduction surgery, Edgar is lost. Medical professionals are afraid to operate on his Neanderthal club-sized penis out of a fear of massive blood loss. "When you've got a cannon like Edgar’s, the risk inherent with an invasive procedure is simply too dangerous," explains Dr. Emily Granverse of Institute of Phallumegaly. "I'm afraid Mr. Acuña’s will just have to stumble through life with what seems like, in many respects, a third femur."
Edgar will have to wait for what might be a long, long, long time.
Edgar Acuña is believed to be the leader in penis size-to-wealth ratio!
The flattest gal, but a social butterfly who loves to chat. A great straight friend who is attracted to gay guys.
Eloise Edgar: Have you seen my boyfriend?
Person: Yes he’s at the gay bar
A knight from long ago, who was so fat he rolled everywhere he went. His favorite food is tacos, and he doesn’t wear normal knight armor because he’s to morbidly obese to wear it. Also, he killed Terrence from a angry birds, bc he’s so fast like a Bugatti. What colors your Bugatti?!?! 😎🗿🌮👉👌
Ur mom looks like Edgar the Great
A boy who is so skinny that he is basically bones!
Wow, he looks like a 'Boney Edgar', who could live in a graveyard!
A man who is loved by his wife. His wife does not love Heathcliff, and does love Edgar Linton very very much.
Heathcliff: Edgar Linton's wife Catherine loves me.
Anyone who lives in reality: No, she actually loves Edgar Linton. She told me she hates you, actually.
a blonde girl that falls in love with skater boys and thinks that the word "bababooey" is funny but so do i
person1: have u met hannah edgar? she was on my toilet searching pork faggots
person 2: no