Canadian Weather

When it’s -50°C on the western side of the country and -1°C on the eastern side of the country.

“Damn, this Canadian Weather is making my brain turn off.”

Flipping the Canadian bird

The Canadian version of flipping the bird à la branta canadensis, which involves hiding one’s raised middle finger beneath a mitten, so as to avoid outwardly offending a fellow Canadian (or in order to deceive americans). May or may not occur as they call out a cheery “sorry!!” with a jaunty lil half wave 👋🏼

Setting: -45*C, 🌨, miserable, somewhere in canadia

Wendy: *bumps into Tim*
Tim: “oh sorry!! ☺️👋🏼 🧤🦆” (🥊+🖕🏼)

Wendy: “it’s quite alright :) have a wonderful day!!”

Ryan: “shit dude did you just see Tim flipping the Canadian bird to Wendy!?”

Wayne: “No but I did see him throw up a quick glove goose to Justin when he was in Calgary last week”

Canadian Snowblower

Blowjob ended with a money shot on the girl’s chest

You don’t have to swallow baby. Let me just give you a Canadian Snowblower.

Canadian tuxedo

Plaid flannel shirt, denim jacket, and denim jeans tucked into a pair of hip waders, usually pulled all the way and attached to the jeans belt.

John developed a huge hardon every time he wore his full Canadian tuxedo while walking in the rain

Canadian breath mint

The act of a woman farting into your mouth after intercourse. Some spooge may or may not be involved.

Wow, Wendy was incredible last night but to top it all off, she gave me a Canadian Breath Mint afterwards to help me sleep.

canadian narwhal

You freeze a Canadian fish and stick your dick through it to have sex. Proceed to fuck through the fish

I totally gave her Canadian narwhal last night

Canadian battle helmet

The Canadian battle helmet is even more sought after than the Canadian belt buckle. It requires greater overall penis length, and fantastic fortitude.

Whereas the Canadian belt buckle requires simply exposing ones testicles (beautiful ones only), the Canadian battle helmet requires much more. To perform this, a males must takes his penis, wrap it around beneath his testicles and have it then drape over on top of the scrotum. This will now resemble a Trojan war helmet: the penis representing the nose guard, and the testicles the eye holes. To be truly successful, a man must use a “male landing strip” of pubic hair, more commonly known as a “genital Carlton”. I have NOT accomplished this task with the genital Carlton.

He totally showed her the Canadian battle helmet! Didn’t know he shaved like that!