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Masturbating 11 times a day while sponging off society.
We all started wanking like peter on the dole when we saw the bottle of midleton.
it was like john just grew a badonkadonk.
9👍 3👎
A statistical system created by Charles Spearman. The mad bastard ranked his wanks every day on a scale of one to ten for a year. He then made a stupid table and decided how significant he is
Mark: "I just don't know how significant i am"
Harold: "Have a spearmans wank correlation coefficient, that'll sort you out"
5👍 1👎
The name given to an individuals Facebook account with which they use to follow members of the opposite sex in order to achieve sexual arousal.
Example 1:
Boy - "How would you like to become a member of my IWB?"
Girl - "Sure! What is it though?"
Boy - "Never you mind...."
Example 2:
After a tiresome day at work, Dave relieved himself with the aid of his Interactive Wank Bank (IWB).
5👍 2👎
You are about to wank and you have been thinking about a girl that wants you, but just doesn't meet your standards. Just before wanking, you decide to text her something dirty because u are thinking "She's not that bad , I'm gonna shag her" - she doesn't reply - and after wanking, you experience regret for sending the text when you were horny.
" You + me ,get it on tom night" - Post Wank Remorse (PWR)
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The specific art or act of "Danger Wanking" as a "Wank-Up Call" on ones girlfriend/wife or man spouse. A man must achieve an erection quietly as the first step, then mounting their partners chest secretively. At this point the wankee(still sleeping) is slapped once (or twice if the wanker is brave) on each cheek. Followed by a furious "Danger Wank" which can only be confirmed by an excessive amount of man juice applied to the persos face before said wankee achieves full consciousness. Finally, if all the previous steps have gone according to plan, the task is ended with a heroic war-cry of "COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!"
Clarissa: "Hey girl, how did your night go? I saw you leave with that hunk."
Yolandra: "Ooooh we had a lot of fun...until this morning when the dickhead woke me up with a danger wank-up call!"
Derrick: "Hey Brennan did ya win the bet?"
Brennan: "Absolutely man I totally danger wank-up called that bitch, gimme my money."
12👍 5👎
A dutch rudder during which the man holds a shake weight instead of his penis. Ironically, this is a safe for work act and the acronym for the term is also SFW.
At the White Elephant party, Scott got stuck with the shake weight, so Tim gave him a San Franciscan Wank to make him feel better.
3👍 15👎
An event that is extremely rare.
Dave, do you think Newcastle will win the premiership this year? Fuck you Steve, you've got more chance of getting a twenty p tit wank.
7👍 2👎