"Golden Bidet" When one party (in a sexual encounter) Urinates on another's anus to clean them after they have defecated.
A Golden Bidet should clean this up nicely.
When you drop a fast heavy deuce and the toilet water splashes up into your ass crack.
I was so glad I found a clean restroom but the muddy bidet ruined it for me.
Getting a dog to lick ones butthole after going number two.
My colleague Josh trained his labrador to give him an American bidet--- god damn, you should see how happy the dog is afterwards.
Taking a shit and then hopping in the shower and using the shower to clean off your butthole, preferably with a jet setting.
Yeah, toilet paper is a scam. I just hop in the shower and do the ol' american bidet and then use a little soap.
The act of shitting in your side-loading washing machine, then using it to clean yourself.
Theres a line for the bathroom, I guess it's time for an American bidet.
When you poop and it plops into the water and splashes your bottom.
"That just splashed all over me!"
"Poor man's bidet"
When you have run out of toilet paper and you call your cousin Cletus or equivalent to come and do you a solid and use his stream of urine to clean your chocolate covered starfish.
“Yeah I ran out of toilet paper and I had to give my cousin a call to come and give me an Appalachian bidet to get clean.”